Thursday, June 1, 2023

The DMV: Another depressing reminder about being old.

Getting old is tough. (I am well past the time when I can pretend to be "middle aged."  Old is my current category. I can hardly wait until I define myself as "Elderly."  Sigh.)  Bones and muscles ache and get weak, sight and hearing start to fade, the memory is faulty, it takes longer to pee, one wants to have a nap at very random times of the day, the power of concentration wanes, and on and on. But even bureaucratic organizations have ways of making us feel old and confused and extraneous.  For example: in California, once you are 70 years old, you can no longer renew your drivers license online. You must go to the the DMV in person and stand in line and take a test to see if you know the rules of driving.  No matter that you have been driving for over 50 years, no matter that you haven't had a traffic citation in years and years, you still must take a written test in order to renew your license. 

So, you dutifully make an appointment, you show up 15 minutes before the appointment time and you still need to get in line with EVERYONE!  Even those without an appointment!  So, your first thought is "why did I bother to make this appointment?" which is a question that has no reasonable answer.

You wait in line and you are sent to a computer to register for the appointment you already made, you get back in line with a magic registration number.  That registration number means you can now sit in a chair and wait for your number to be called and then you are sent to another line. This third line of the morning gives you an eye test, takes your thumb print and takes your money. And you are sent to another line, a longer line, where you will get your photo taken and sent to another computer to take the written test.  But it's not actually written, it's on a computer screen.  Once you take the test and hopefully pass, you wait in another line to get your papers stamped and a pretend, temporary license, and then you can go home.

Whew. It took less than an hour, which is sort of surprising. It seemed like hours.

The DMV was populated by young people just getting started in the driving world, people who were trying to get a valid ID card and the rest of us, old people, who were there for the same reason: to renew our licenses. Lots of gray hair in that building this morning. And a lot of very timid and scared people who were completely baffled by the entire process.

When you go to the computer to take your test, you need to read the rules and instructions. It was clear that not everyone did so. One woman, probably older than me, failed her test and was very worried that they wouldn't let her drive home because of that!  There are options to skip certain questions on the test, there are instructions about what to do if you fail the test the first time, info about re-taking the test and information about other stuff.... but many don't read these instructions. I felt like I should have stuck around to help these folks, to guide them to the right line, the correct window for DMV professional (!) help, but all I could do was express my gratitude for passing the test and get the hell out of the building.

I don't blame the DMV, they try to streamline the process, but they are dealing with every sort of person, in every walk of life: youngsters, oldsters, people who don't understand English too well, people who don't really have a legitimate physical address but who still need an ID card, people with inflated egos and deflated levels of cognition. For the most part the staff was kind and patient. But it's just a big machine and we are, occasionally, cogs in that machine. All we can hope for is to settle our business quickly and get out of there.  

It was a beautiful day when I left the DMV, sunny and warm and in a couple of weeks I will get a new CA Drivers License with what I am sure will be a gorgeous photo of my old face surrounded by its gray hair and I won't need to return for many more years.  


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