Just say "Thank You" and this is not about Thanksgiving

Every five or six months my friend Jani and I meet for breakfast.  It lasts long enough to be lunch because we have so much to talk about.  When the bill comes, I always reach, she always gets it and I always protest.  Jani always says "Just say Thank You."  I do.  And I insist on leaving the tip, which she allows.  It always humbles me a little but lifts me up at the same time. 

"Just say Thank You" is a good thing to remember. For me, it's right up there with "Just be kind."  If you mush them together, as is so easy to do, those two phrases can cover about 75% of life.  The other 25% can be covered with "I'm sorry" (if you really are) and the best, "I love you more."

I think of this because it is the time of saying thanks and it is the time to be kind. Everyone loves Thanksgiving but not everyone loves December. Some people hate the commercialization of ..... what?  The birth of Jesus?  Really?  How many people really believe that story, so why get all cranky because that imaginary birth has morphed into lights and gifts and cards and spending money?   But the commercialization of the holiday is simply commerce and the evolution of tradition. You can hate the spending but you gotta love the lights and the twinkly stuff and candy and kids and sleighs and dogs with reindeer hats. And Christmas trees, who can resist a lovely pine-smelling, light-covered tree with cool ornaments, some of which were made 40 years ago by one's own kids?  Who doesn't love hot cider with spices and brandy?  Who doesn't want to see small children (and big ones) on the morning of December 25 stare in awe at what the imaginary Fat Man left under the tree? 

So, let's all be nice, be kind and thank our fellow persons that we are here, we can act dismayed at the crassness of  buying too much stuff (and yes, it is crass, and yet I know no one who does that anymore) and smile, nod and let it go.

This should be called the Season of Letting It Go. Sigh deeply and find something nice to look at (like that cup of hot cider with brandy) and be joyful.

I know, I am being so simplistic about it all.  But why not?  Let's not over complicate anything anymore. There are a myriad of sites where you can discover organizations who need your donations and you can give a little card to your loved ones telling them what you gave in their name.  (Awkward sentence!)  You can buy a flock of chickens or ducks as a gift!  Or a small heifer.  Or some yarn. Some water bottles, some wooden shelves, a simple wood-fired oven, money for a roof, for fabric.  Closer to home you can give money to your local food bank so others can eat.  On and on it goes. 

But you can also spend a little money and buy presents!  Things for your family and friends to unwrap!  That urban myth that says "Christmas is for kids" is a lie.  Everyone likes a gift, some socks, a bag of almonds, some photos, a jar of salsa, pencils, a second-hand book, wine, a recipe, a DVD that you loved but want to pass on. Wrap it up! It doesn't matter that it cost $2.99 from Trader Joe's, it just matters that someone smiles as they rip the paper off and say "Oh, wow, how cool is this!"

Disclaimer:  Tomorrow is the last day at the hotel for three weeks. They are closing up until December 26.  The reasons are not important but I know the reason behind this blog is this:  I am SO, SO happy that for the next three plus weeks I don't have to go to work!!!!  No pay, but I am not caring.  I could go on, but I will finish that thought tomorrow......

Thank you.  Be Kind.  I love you more.

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Bad car karma, but no one is shooting at me

Friday, November 13, driving home and listening to the terror that is happening in Paris. Half a block from my street and a car comes out of a school parking lot, against the flow of traffic and straight at me.  I try to scoot over but there is another lane of traffic to my left, but I definitely do not want this car to hit me head on, air bags and all that.  So I move as far as I can to the left without hitting the car on my left. There is a yellow school bus on my right side. This random wildcat car drives at me, swerves a bit and runs between me and the yellow school bus, sideswiping me as it goes, to the blaring of all the horns in the vicinity.  The car bounces off me and somehow, since everyone in both westbound lanes of traffic can see what's happening and thus can give it space, the car maneuvers around and finally gets in the eastbound lanes and speeds away.

This, as is common, happens in about 3 seconds. I pull to the curb, get out of my car and yell, at the top of my voice "FUCK" a couple of times, which sort of relieves some of the adrenaline that was plowing through my body. I mean, I really yelled it, not like some lady-like yell but a huge, mean, angry yell.  Thankfully, the guy in back of me pulled over as well, (he was not daunted by my unlady-like cursing) and he had what he thought was the license plate number, and gave me his name and phone number, and helped me wrench off a piece of the car that was hanging.  I drove home, about a hundred yards away.

Sigh. Insurance pays for most of it, but not all.  Then, just 5 days later, the car is running rough, really rough, gets worse and worse so I had to take it in to the tune of more than $700!!!!  

But I am fine with it all.  No one is shooting at me, my life is not in peril, my family is not in danger, my life is simple.  I still have water when I turn on the tap, my poop still goes away when I flush the toilet, I don't have head lice and I can pay my bills, sort of. Healthy and reasonably happy, well-fed (my large spare tire can attest to that) and well-lubricated with self-medicating ounces of alcohol, I am so fine it's pitiful to even mention the car.  But hey, it's what we do, share our down moments with friends and then share the up ones as well.  And to watch the threat of terror around the world makes anyone with a brain just shut up about the small fuck-ups of everyday life.

This week is Thanksgiving, of course, and if you have a computer and can read this, you have tons to be thankful for. Electricity, for one.  A computer for another. A roof. A toilet. (Thank that water system every time you flush.)  Some pasta or rice and a pot to cook it in. Friends. Some warm clothes, someone to hug or at least talk to, maybe a small grateful dog or cat or goldfish, maybe a simple mug to hold a cup of tea. There is always something. Bread. Apples. And what about those trees outside, the ones that are blazing with color! If a person can't be in awe about seeing that, a person has some explaining to do.

Cars, costly but necessary.  Life, so much more in every way. And so much better as well. 

LTBT

"The Bean Trees" revisited

Twenty seven years ago (1988) I read "The Bean Trees" by Barbara Kingsolver and I loved it.  It was her first novel and since then I have read almost everything she has written. But I couldn't remember much about this book (27 years of accumulating dead brain cells does cause memory lapses) and when I saw it on CD at the library, I knew I had to listen to it.

What a great story!  It's difficult to summarize the plot because it is such a simple tale but one with so many human touch-points.  Loss, redemption, kindness, civil rights, love, and so much more.  The main character, Taylor Greer, wins you over from the very beginning with her skewed view of the world and she develops from an innocent kid to an articulate, generous woman. (In 1988 my best friend at that time actually named her first child Taylor, after the character in this book.)  I don't remember being so moved when I read it in 1988, but this time I had tears in my eyes many times while listening to it.

If you haven't read it, get it out of the library and read it. It's short, you can finish it in two days and it will be well worth it.  And if you haven't read any other Kingsolver books, do yourself a favor and check out a few of her other books.  

I drive home in tears, 11/13/15

I drive home in tears for many reasons but only one resonates right now. I drive home in tears because of the slaughter in Paris, the lives ruined for no reason. There is nothing I can say about the shootings because there is no logic there.  We all ask ourselves the "Why" questions but these terrorists do not operate on a logical plane. All the questions we ask cannot be answered because of that. Our world cannot and will not and should not ever understand a place that can massacre strangers. If that situation doesn't make you cry, nothing will. 

This not walking is killing my knees.

The Small Dog Cooper has had some sort of muscle strain in one of his back legs which has limited his ability to go for walks.  Since I retrieved him from Gabe and Annie's after my short trip to Hawaii, he has been limping around on three legs.  Giving him pain meds (for dogs) has helped a bit, at least he can pee and poop without falling over on his bad leg.  (Which was a bit amusing, I must say.)  But it has made our walking in the morning a non-issue.

And as much as it pisses Cooper off that he can't go out, it is friggin killing me!  My knees hurt way more now than they have in a long time and I know it's because I am not walking the two miles plus every day. How lame is that?!  (Pun intended.)  

Just today, after more than a week, Coop is limping less so it means we can take short walks now.  He walked around the block mostly on four legs, some on three legs.  But when we got to the park, I let him off the leash and he joyfully ran around like a little dog!  I hope his recovery continues or else I am going to need a walker to get around.  I had not realized how much the 45 minutes of walking in the morning benefited me as well as the Small Cooper Dog. Now I know. 

Old movie: "In Bruges"

I may have blogged about this movie in the past, but I just watched it again tonight.  Seriously, if you haven't seen it, watch it.  It's free on Netflix streaming.  Funny, sad, poignant, irreverent, sarcastic, politically incorrect, and somehow, with all the snarky dialogue, it's moving and emotional even with the threat of bullets and death waiting in the wings.

One of the best performances by Colin Farrell, not to mention Brendan Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes. If you have seen it before, watch it again. It's simply 100 minutes of a very good movie. 

"Fucking Bruges.  This place is a shit hole."

To Hawaii and back

Having never been to Hawaii (yes, hard to believe), I jumped at the chance to go for three nights, even if it was just to Honolulu.  You know me, give me a nice room in a good hotel that has a bar, and I am a happy camper.  Annie had a business trip, the room was paid for, the airline ticket was reasonable, so off I went.

Honolulu is not like the Hawaii of people's dreams, of course. It was more like staying in a high-rise Santa Monica. Near the water (we could see the harbor and ocean from our room) but surrounded by high rise hotels and condos and lots of traffic.  Did I care?  Nope.  The hotel was lovely, the drinks at the bar were good, Annie is fun to travel with and I was AWAY!  Away from work, away from my house and roommate, away from everything.  That alone was worth the price of admission.

One of my oldest friends lives in Honolulu so we hung out a bit and he took me on a helicopter tour of the island. It was a "doors off" four person helicopter, small and very maneuverable, able to tuck into small canyons and make U-turns in a small arc.  Despite a few moments of trepidation, once we were up in the air and I was convinced I wasn't going to fall out, it was a great ride. The island (Oahu) is beautiful, of course, as all the islands are.  (It's just the Honolulu part that isn't so attractive.)  Lush, green, wet, with oceans that varied from light turquoise to deep navy.  

Good food as well. We (Annie, myself and my friend Flip) had a great meal at a very old-fashioned traditional high-end dining restaurant that was excellent.  Annie and I ate at a very new, very cutting edge place another night and then at a very local, very Hawaiian cafe for breakfast one morning.  In between were lunches (very Hawaiian) and snacks at the pool (good fish tacos) and small bar bites.

Yes, it was hot and humid, too humid for me, but since I was on vacation, it didn't matter.  And they are not in the middle of a drought, so taking a long, cold shower after walking a couple of miles in hot, humid heat was a great treat.

Would I go back?  Of course, I will go anywhere if someone asks nicely.  I would prefer a cooler and dryer time of year and it would be nice to not be in Honolulu all the time but it was fun, it was great to see Flip, great to travel with Annie and it was more than great to be out of town for three days.  I read a couple of books, slept well, stared out the window of our 16th floor room for a while and looked at hot hunky men at the pool.  Not a thing wrong with any of that!

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