Monday, August 28, 2017

"Little Fires Everywhere" by Celeste Ng

This book will be released in September, so don't be shocked that you haven't heard of it yet. But when it is released, I hope it is to decent praise.  Ng's first novel "Everything I Never Told  You" was very good and this one is better.

Families, teenagers, angst, cruel intentions, misplaced kindness, unraveled lies, and the inability to right the past wrongs of a life. It's all here and it is done so well. I cried at the end, not because of sadness but because of the beauty of the written words that gave truth to this fiction story, that explained and illustrated the longing and hunger of emotion.  And its fulfillment in action and in acceptance. 

If you see this novel in the library, or on a sale table, or at the Salvation Army Bookstore, pick it up.  It's a book that you will enjoy and even more than that, it's a book that you will enjoy giving to someone, a friend who likes books, who likes good stories and well-defined prose. 

"Little Fires Everywhere" is such a great title, but impossible to explain.  Suffice it to say that our lives are riddled with small blazes all the time.  Scorched at times, we are forced to sweep away the ashes and begin again. 

I love reading. This book is one of the reasons.  It's not great, but it is so good that greatness doesn't matter. Now and then a book simply moves the reader, and it might not move anyone else.  It moved me. It will move one of you.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Cherry tomatoes = Dinner!

They multiply like fleas but maybe not so annoying. But if you are not a gardener (nope, not me) you are always saying "yes" to anyone who offers you fresh picked anything from their garden. Even zukes! But tomatoes, well of course, sure, yes, bring 'em on, I will take them!  And suddenly you find that you have a bushel of cherry tomatoes.  (The bigger tomatoes you can always skin, chop and freeze without cooking but the little ones, nope, doesn't work.)  

Tonight I came home and the three dozen cherry tomatoes I remembered had turned into six dozen it seemed.  I needed to eat them tonight. What to do?

Here's what I did and it was perfect.  Cut about three dozen very small cherry tomatoes in half.  To that bowl I added about ten kalamata olives that were cut in smallish pieces. I had no basil or parsley but I had some arugula, so I chopped up about a half cup of that and tossed it in the bowl. Then I added about a quarter cup crumbled goat cheese into the bowl because it was getting too old to keep.  Then some salt and pepper and a couple of shakes of red pepper flakes. I  took a small garlic clove and minced it really well and added that.  Finally I took my piece of parm cheese and used the vegetable peeler to peel off a few skinny threads of cheese into the bowl.  Added a couple of tablespoons of really good fruity olive oil, stirred it up and let it set for about an hour so it was at room temp and flavors had melded. 

Boiled some orecchiette pasta and tossed it with the room temp sauce, and the heat of the pasta melted the goat cheese just enough to make it all saucy and delicious.  The heat also made the cherry tomatoes sing with their juicy sweetness and the saltiness of the olives was the perfect counterpoint to that sweetness.  Tossed and poured into warmed up bowl (crucial with an uncooked sauce) it was the perfect meal.

It was a long weekend, driving to Sonora, doing the Mom Memorial thing, leaving there this morning and driving home......  the trip home seemed to take forever. So making a pasta sauce like this from what was in the fridge and on the counter was excellent. 

And those cherry tomatoes that were taunting me.... in my belly!

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Mom's Memorial, or the Tossing of the Ashes

It is not entirely legal, of course, to toss a dead person's ashes on state owned land in California.  There are regulations.  Permits are required. Waiting periods are necessary.

We didn't do any of those things. On the Sonora Pass, above the town of Sonora, where Mom lived for about 15 years (and where she was usually happy), there is an area called the Dardanelles that Mom really  liked. In that area is a state designated overlook area called Donnell Lake overlook where the Stanislaus River has created a huge gorge. It's lovely and in the past we (several of us kids at different times) took Mom on a ride from Sonora up to this overlook, had a little walk and Mom often said that if she couldn't have her ashes scattered in Scotland, this place would be just fine. The bonus was that on the ride back down the mountain we would stop at a cool dive bar and Mom could have a Guinness and we (whoever was ferrying her that day) could also have a beer and a shot. It made for a joyful afternoon: a nice drive, great scenery, pine trees, gorgeous overlook and booze. What about that isn't a good thing?

So off we went yesterday morning, all six of us kids, after meeting at a parking lot in Sonora, caravanning up to this spot, 14 of us total (grandkids, mates, etc), carrying Mom's ashes and some Irish Whiskey, some poems and some memories.  It's a public place, of course, so we had to be discreet. We spent about a half hour just looking over the scene, wandering around until we found a spot off the main trail, it had a nice drop and a large flat rock to sit or stand on. It was good. Anyone who wanted to say anything or read anything could, and did. My brother Joe sang a beautiful version of "Red River Valley" with lyrics changed to suit my Mom, and his a cappella voice brought tears to everyone's eyes. Then we opened the bag and .... whoosh!  There she went, over the edge and into the void. The wind was in our favor, no blow-back.  We then tossed a shot of whiskey over the edge for her, had a shot in her honor, took a couple of photos, and that was it. Mom's ashes were in the wind and on the rocks of the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

We all gathered later at a local restaurant, in a private room, had dinner, drank wine, looked at lots of photos of Mom, Dad and all of us from 1940's until 2010 and drank more wine. Finally we returned to a local hotel where many of us stayed, sat around the pool until after dark and three of my brothers played nice, soft music. Mom would have loved all of it.

The Mom Legend is finished, it seems, at least in the physical realm.  Yes, she lives on in memories and maybe her spirit will find another body to inhabit (if that sort of thing happens) but for us the formality and the ritual of putting her where she wanted to be is over.  Jenn kept some of the ashes and she and Dar may take them to Scotland in the next year or two, which would make Mom very happy. But our part in her life is finished.

It's nice to know that wherever her soul/spirit/force is, it is now up to her to make the most of the next episode.  If there is one, of course.  Who knows?  

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Thursday, August 10, 2017

And that damn time machine again......

This is me being a Mom.  I realized, as I wrote the blog about Jenn, that I didn't write anything about Gabe's birthday this year. In April, Gabe turned 40 years old which is a milestone. It was also the week my Mom died. I saw Gabe a day before his birthday which was two days after Mom died, and we celebrated, sort of, then.  We had dinner, Annie, Jenn, Dar, and we drank some really nice rye whiskeys.  We toasted Mom and Gabe and life. 

Gabe is also so much more than I expected 40 years ago. He is the kid who wasn't contentious but was so, so thoughtful and kind and sometimes spacey as boys often are. But I know that in high school he seemed like a calm, obedient person but he broke a lot of rules. I have gleaned glimpses of those trashed rules over the years. Gabe also had a history of crashing cars for a while, once when someone loaned him a brand new sporty car (I am not sure it even had license plates yet) and he rolled it on a road  out in Pt. Reyes Station.  And by "rolled it" I mean just that. I saw the wrecked car in the local Pt. Reyes garage and it was some car racing angel who looked out for him in that accident.

I was the one who told Gabe not to move in with Annie, his first real serious girlfriend when he was..... maybe 20.  It was my mother bear protective speech about getting hurt, how hard it is to move out when the person has moved in, how young he was...... and he and Annie have now been together for 20 years.  Clearly Gabe knew his heart and he owned his life.  He still does. 

He is a man. It's so difficult for me to know that in my heart and mind. He is not my Gabe, he is Gabe and he is a man. However, even at 40 I can see the 5 year old in him, but that's because it's what parents do. I remember carrying him, sleeping, from the car, maybe even when he faked sleeping just to get carried.  And there are too many memories get started on...... but every time I see him, he's still my boy. Grown up and all. He still grins like a ten year old. He is so smart, incredibly wise for his age, beautifully articulate, funny, talented, knowledgeable about so many things in the world and he makes the best Manhattan I have ever sipped!  

OK, that's enough...... how much do I love my kids?  There isn't a big enough word to describe it.  



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Oh, were time travel an option......

I would opt for a day back when my daughter was about three years old. Or five. Or eleven. Not when she was a teenager, however. Maybe when she was a bride, maybe when she was just sleeping at any age and I got to watch her in that state of suspended emotion and energy.

Today she is 44.  I am still shocked by the age of my children but the shock is no longer new, it's simply shock and awe and acceptance. Jenn is now and has always been wonderful, but don't quiz me about the teenage years. She might have been wonderful then but she hid it well.

There is something about seeing your kids as adults, knowing they are adults and physically longing to hold them just one more time as they were as kids. One more minute of carrying them from the car late at night. One more minute of smelling their hair, scents of baby shampoo, kid sweat and whatever they rubbed in their hair an hour before bedtime. One more time seeing them dressed for a date in high school and one more time giving them the "don't drink and drive, don't get in a car with someone who has been drinking and always use a condom" speech, which I am sure they knew by heart and did not always follow.

But now, all those past times have vaporized, and here I am, on the dark side of my 60's and they are in their light side of their 40's and the one true thing I have ever had in my life are my kids. There is nothing truer.

So, Happy Birthday my beautiful, talented, funny, contentious, loving and kind daughter. You are so much more than I expected 44 years ago, so much more than I thought I would get. I got you. With your brother, there's nothing better. 

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Tuesday, August 8, 2017

"Atomic Blonde"

Holy cow!  Three movies in three weeks! I haven't seen three movies in the entire last 9 months but it's summer and there are Blockbusters out there to support and see and toss $$$ at!  This latest one is the most blockbusterish of all that I have seen in the past weeks because it is like a Jason Bourne movie (and how quickly did that become a brand?) but with a female kick-ass spy person who can do everything Jason Bourne did but has no computer chip planted on her back right shoulder.

First, I have to say that anyone who doesn't like Charlize Theron is either 1) blind or 2) an idiot or 3) both. I don't care what team you play for, she is so incredibly gorgeous that it is difficult to take one's eyes off of her, especially because John Goodman is also in this movie and we all know what a stonefox he is! It's difficult: should I look at Charlize of at JG? One is gorgeous and the other is hairy and big but one is compelled to look at them both!  Well, kidding, if you prefer to look at JG, then I have no words for you. I really like him but compared to looking at Charlize, there is nothing. No comparison. And she has this ability to let absolutely  no emotion register on her face. Her face becomes as if it was cut in stone. 

But back to the movie. It takes place in 1989 when the Berlin Wall is coming down, an amazing year in history, and it's an amazing year in music as well, which is sampled in this movie. Who doesn't like all that late 80's music, the likes of David Bowie, Depeche Mode, Queen, New Order, Duran Duran, Cure, and more.  The soundtrack is amazing and perfect. At one point I was actually almost waving my arms in the air, which hasn't happened in a little while in a dark theater.  But what better place, right?

Berlin is dark and dank and the Cold War is in full force, so this is about spies, counter spies, counter-counter spies, treachery, betrayal and fighting.  There is a lot of hand-to-hand combat of the most brutal kind, involving every sort of thing you could use, like a hot plate, pipes, hoses, corkscrew, guns with no bullets, stiletto heels and other day-to-day things you can find laying around the house.  At one point I had to close my eyes for about ten seconds just because the fighting was getting a bit too much, but hey, it's only movie violence. But still, it went on too long. 

If you don't mind the personal affliction of injury and pain, more than in the Bourne movies, or if you are willing to just cover your eyes for a few seconds, the movie is worth seeing.  Theron is amazing, not just because she fights better than Bourne but she is marginally better looking than Matt Damon. There are spy twists and turns and double crossing stuff, and the end is cool......  I give it two bandaged thumbs up, black eyes included.  A summer blockbuster!

Let's see what we can find to see next week!

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Sunday, August 6, 2017

No Country for Old Men, revisited

It's not that there aren't newer things to watch on streaming TV but it was a long week and this is my Friday and when I turned the streaming TV on, one of the first movies that hit my focus was the Coen Brothers "No Country For Old Men." I don't think I have seen it since it came out ten years ago and I held little hope for it. Lately I have had no patience for anything, and I figured I would watch this until my really good Chinese take-out was done.

I watched it straight through, beginning to end. It is really good, better than I remembered, no need to stop and start, just click PLAY and let it go. The cast is stellar: Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin, Woody Harrelson, Garrett Dillahunt, Tess Harper, Kelly MacDonald.  The story is simple, blood money stolen = revenge.  But the execution, and I use that word wisely, is perfect.  Man, those Coen kids know how to make a movie.

My favorite actors in this are Tommy Lee Jones, of course, with his wrinkles and his old nature and his honesty. And Kelly MacDonald, whose Scottish accent is often so broad that I can't understand a thing she says, is perfect as the small, obedient wife who knows her fate and yet says "nope" in the face of it.  But everyone is amazing in their roles.

Even if you saw it ten years ago and didn't like it or found it too violent, check it out again. The violence is nasty but it is mostly off camera and it is part of the tale. And the end scene, I had no idea it would end like that, it is brilliant.

Watch it again, tell me what you think.  If you hate it, I will buy you a beer or a glass of wine or a glass of ice tea and we can discuss.  

over and out.

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Saturday, August 5, 2017

Inhospitably hospitable in the Hospitality Industry

After more than 20 years in this industry, I am very good at my job.  Smile and nod, laugh at inane comments, express delight at photos on a phone of really ugly dogs.  Do concierge work for no tips, accept criticism of things for which I have never had responsibility,  wave goodbye with a smile and the thought "I hope you never return, you useless prick of a person and while I don't wish you great bodily harm I do hope your head falls off in the next two days."  

I have the kind of face that, set in a certain way, makes people shut up.  That's not the kind of face the Hospitality Industry approves of and therefore that face does not show up too often while at the front desk.  I also have, it seems, the kind of face that, set in a certain way, makes people happy and chatty and willing to tell me personal details of their lives that I never wanted to hear. That's the kind of face that I am suppose to wear at work but that face makes me cringe at its fakeness. We all wear masks at different times but I am tired of wearing one so often. 

On the days I work, I wear that face and I talk to the strangers who are at my workplace. I talk about nothing important, about restaurants, about trails, wineries, the weather, about food, about tourist stuff. I can chat about all that and more and never care about one syllable of the  words coming out of my mouth.  But the guests don't know that. That's the job.

On my days off, I don't talk much. I avoid it as much as possible, actually, not minding if my only conversation of the day revolves around "....would you like your receipt?"  The chatter that follows me around on the job is like cereal in my mind, flakes and popping and eventually mush. While working, one must attend to that chatter.  While not working, I don't have to listen, respond, rinse or repeat. 

Yes, I am very good at my job. No, I do not want to do this for the long distance future. Less chatter, less cereal in my brain, more vistas, more travel, more quiet on my terms, please. I want more conversations with people I love and like, not with people i am paid to smile at. 

Thank you for listening. 

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