June 24 -25

Last year June 24 was a Sunday.  Late that afternoon I talked on the phone to my excellent friend Martha.  She was leaving the following day for Wisconsin for a short visit.  We made plans to meet up the following weekend.

Last year June 25 was a Monday.  In the evening, still filled with daylight, I received a call from Steve that was difficult to understand because he was sobbing.  Martha had been killed in a horrific car crash, just moments after being picked up from the airport. In a car with three others,  she was the only one who died.  One other passenger was in the hospital for weeks with major brain trauma.  She, today, a year later, is recuperating well.

Last year on June 26, in the morning, I made flight arrangements for Steve to go to Wisconsin and be with Martha's family, to see her body, to witness what had happened to his best friend and fiance.

This year, on the anniversary of Martha's death, I am again making flight arrangements for Steve to fly to Wisconsin in two weeks.  The sentencing hearing is taking place for the man responsible for killing Martha with his truck.  Steve and family members will be at that hearing.

We have so little control of so much in our lives.  We think we can decide things, can plan our futures, can guide the outcome of choices.  Sometimes we can. So often we cannot.  I miss Martha every day; so often I have wished for her opinion on some random subject, I have wanted to hear her laugh, I have wanted to share a glass of wine with her on Steve's porch.

Love those you love, tell them you love them, do now what you have always put off.  Be kind.  Live the life you have.

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