The meaning of life, for me, for a couple of hours.

Last Friday, August 10, was my daughter Jenn's 45th birthday.  (Yes, I was a child bride.) I went up to Guerneville on Friday night, there was a group of her friends there (mostly lovely gay men), we grilled burgers and drank wine and laughed. A bit later Gabe and Annie arrived, just in time for the last of the burgers and some hot dogs, more wine was opened and soon most of the guys went home. It was me, Jenn, Dar, Gabe, Annie and another couple who stayed to search for shooting stars from the Pleiades meteor shower.  I went to bed at midnight, I was the only one who had to work the next morning, on Saturday. 

My shift on Saturday ended at 7:00, I was at Jenn and Dar's by 7:08 and we sat down to dinner at 7:10. The five of us and two of their friends whom I really like. Great pork ribs, salad, sides, wine, excellent simple but delicious dinner. Dar is a wiz at the grill, the ribs were 100% perfect.  By 9:30 it was just the 5 of us.  We got more wine, blankets and settled in to see more shooting stars.

(I know this sounds boring. It wasn't.)

At one point I said to my kids:  "This is the meaning of life for me at this moment: I am here with my two kids and their mates, so my four kids.  There is nothing better. It is all about the love and all about the four of you. Thank you."

And I really believe that the meaning of life is just that: being with the people you love. (Had my Stacey been there, well, even better, she is my other daughter, just like Dar and Annie..... and her Ben and her Sam and Henry, well, that's all family.)  We search for the meaning of our lives, we think about our accomplishments, our successes and failures and where we are and where we want to be and all of that.  But for me, at this time in my life, it just comes down to one simple fact: we love.

It doesn't matter why or how, it matters that we love. It matters that we love, even if it is messy and difficult because it is also special and sometimes remarkable. More often than not it is simple and easy while also complicated and annoying. But that's all part of the process and part of why and how we love. That we love, there is the meaning.

We saw some shooting stars that evening. We shared a lot of laughs, a lot of wine and a lot of love. That love put those shooting stars in their place.  That love was so bright. 

xo  LTBT

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