On a previous episode: for so many reasons, too many to mention but too few to consider right now, my mind has been in the darkness recently. You know when you get to that spot where all you can think about is the futility of everything? When you think, every day, every hour, that nothing is working? Out of hope, out of longing, full of dread, full of angst and mired in the tar pit that feels like life right now?
OK, dramatic, yes, sorry. But it's actually sort of like that. There seems to be little point to anything. Even my dog has ceased to make me laugh much, and that is a very sad thing.
I am taking a few days off from work, starting Tuesday. I am renting a car and driving south, a drive I have not done in years. Perhaps staying near the ocean for a few nights will mitigate the shadow that seems to be following me. We'll see. I intend to take this ancient laptop with me and will, maybe, report in, continue the one-way conversation while I do nothing but put some distance between me and work and everyday life. I don't know that it will help. But something has to help and soon.
ok, over and out for a few days.
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