Last day, new year.

The arrival of a new year should always make one stop for a few moments and take stock of one's life.  Or maybe it's just tradition that we do so. 2011 was a tough year for many.  You all know my employment and housing woes, but those were temporary (although sometimes it seemed otherwise) and not life threatening.  Others had much more serious concerns: health, home foreclosures, death of friends and relatives.  The turbulent political climate everywhere in the world didn't help, either.  Whether it was the economy, the environment, human rights, public protests, war, famine, poverty, there were so many sad, unsettled and tragic moments this past year that we are all lucky to be amoung those still standing.

The beginning of a new year is like being given a clean slate. Nothing personal is written on it yet and each of us therefore has the opportunity to try and make this new year our own.  We cannot control destiny, of course, but we can control our approach to the future and how we individually deal with what is thrown at us.  Some people make resolutions.  Some people pick one word to tack on the wall as a guiding force.  That word could be anything:  love, propsperity, house, peace, new car, family, health, baby, education, the list is endless.

I haven't figured out a plan for 2012 yet.  But I have realized this:  2011, as difficult as it was, certainly wasn't dull!  And it was educational in many ways, at least for me. I learned so much about myself (for example, that I really liked flush toilets!) and about my small world.  I learned to accept the kindness and generousity of friends and family without feeling that I had to always reciprocate.  I learned which people were willing to listen to my frustration about my situation and which were uncomfortable doing so, and I accepted that. 

There is no way I would have gotten through 2011 without my friends and especially my family.  My two kids each gave me a place to live for several months, which I know was an imposition at times, but I loved being part of their everyday worlds for a while.  Friends helped me find part-time jobs, or paid me under the table for a few months so I could still collect unemployment benefits and thus afford health insurance.  Those friends also helped me find places to live short-term and a couple of them encouraged me to stop worrying and just settle down for six months and see how that felt. 

Bottom line, I want to thank all those folks who were on my side last year.  Without you all, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now with my simplified life, my part-time jobs, my pared down way of living.

It's odd but I am happier right now than I have been in quite some time.  A big part of that is my decision to stop worrying about "what's to come" and live in the present moment.  Yes, I am eating up some of my savings but that's what it is there for, to help me through tough times.  Yes, I still only have part-time jobs but they are mostly paying my way.  I have a very small place to live that I can afford and it is in a fine neighborhood.  In the big picture of the world, I am totally safe, secure and healthy.  In the small snapshot of my tiny world, I am safe, healthy and the insecurities that I harbor are of my own making.  It's not a bad way to start a new year.  Let's look forward to 2012 being full of good adventures!