Nothing good to say, nothing at all.

Everyone I talk to now is feeling the same: sad, angry, confused, frightened. There is little joy in our world at this moment. People are edgy and emotional. The future, even the future of tomorrow, is so uncertain and so bleak. Later this week, more protests, more riots? More virus outbreaks? More meanness and lies and deception by POTUS?  

Everyone I know is alright, they aren't in the middle of a riot and they are healthy and they have food and a good place to live. But no one is immune from this darkness that seeps around the edges of all our lives. It was bad enough two weeks ago when we were all antsy because of the Shelter in Place and we were all sad because of so many deaths. Now we have huge protests and riots because of the unending disparity between races and the total injustice of the treatment of black people and there is simply no way to fix this right now. Much like there is no way to fix the spread of the virus other than the small measures of masks and social isolation.  Both are pandemics: both the virus and the systematic destruction of black lives are diseases rife in this country. 

Add to that the millions who are out of work, without means, out of food, soon to be without homes, without any hope in sight. I personally am not destitute but I have not received any unemployment in over five weeks.  Yes, I file, I certify, I do everything necessary but for some reason my money is not coming to me. What if I was a mother with small kids, out of a job, rent to pay, groceries and utilities to buy, and no unemployment benefits forthcoming?  There is no one to call, absolutely no way to answer the question "Where is my money?"  The system is so broken, so overloaded, and yet there is no one to speak to about it, no one at EDD answers the phone, no email messages are returned. We are at the mercy of the bureaucracy and that bureaucracy show no mercy at all. We are impotent in the face of this idiocy. 

All we need now is an earthquake. Or a wild fire. That would be more icing on the rancid cake. At least those kinds of disasters have a foreseeable end.  What we are in now, this hurricane of horror, of hate and violence and disease, if there's an end it sure ain't obvious.

Be safe out there. Speak up, speak out and be strong. 

xo

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