It's been a while since I have put pen to paper here. Or fingers to keys. These days are either full of angst, anger, sadness and fear or they are full of nothing. Some days it's a struggle to not go back to bed, pull up the blanket and sleep. Sleep until November and if the election goes bad, sleep again and never get up.
There is too much happening right now that is out of our control. It's not just Covid and the incredible heat wave we have had, not just the social unrest over Black Lives Matter, not just the fires that are threatening my daughter's house as I type this. It's all of that and more: fear of four more years of Trump, fear of getting sick, the unrelenting unemployment, our impotence in all of the above and the uncertainty of what is going to happen in a week or a month or three months. Never have I felt so powerless as I do now.
I have read books, watched movies, baked. I do have some things to share. But right now, at 10:00 pm on this Tuesday night, while I am guessing the R.N.C. is finishing up its fucking campaign rhetoric, while the hills in historic redwood sanctuaries are burning, while families I know are trying to hold it together with one half of their income demolished, while our country continues to be split apart because of disastrously inept leadership and while my belief in my country continues to erode, there is nothing but sadness in front of me. It is very, very difficult, right now, at this moment, to find goodness in our world.
I will try to find it again tomorrow. Good night. And good luck.
Cannot agree with you more. We are slogging through a morass with a deep concern for the future of our society. It is depressing. We have to and do look to those close to us for the joy and happiness of life. You shared some of those with me the other night. Still right now the negative crap is overwhelming and exhausting.
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