Apocalyptic Food

 By that I mean food you WANT when the apocalypse finally arrives.  Yes, everyone will have their own favorite things to eat before the Zombies devour them or before the Comet From Space makes the earth nonexistent. This is my choice.  It is a caramelized cheesy onion dip thing that I made for xmas eve. It is perfect. It is delicious. (And yes, it is loaded with fat and calories, but it's the Apocalypse for goodness sake!)  It keeps for a week in the fridge and is not exotic. It is heaven in your mouth.  It can be a dip or a spread or a filling for celery sticks or a topping for a burger or a chicken breast.  You can eat it with carrots, on toast or just lick it off your fingers. It can be anything you want it to be because it needs to exist in your life.

Think about it: slow cooked onions, a lot of them, melted down into a sweet, gooey mess. Then mixed with good Gruyere cheese, sour cream, cream cheese, a bit of mayo, pepper, red pepper flakes.... and then baked. Baked with some crunchy toasted panko or toasted bread crumbs. Hot and bubbly and gooey and incredible. If some creature or some meteor is going to fucking kill me, I want this, along with some seared foie gras and a hundred dollar bottle of French Sancerre to be my last bites on this planet.  It is that good.

Where does one get this, you ask. You make it. Yes, you buy the ingredients and you put it together. If that's too much work for you then you deserve to be eaten by those bloody narcissistic apocalyptic creatures, whoever or whatever they might be.

I hate sharing recipes but I am going to share this with the three people who might read this. (Do not share it with others.)  Keep in mind that the proportions don't need to be exact. A bit less cheese, fine. A bit more cream cheese, great. I left off the cheese on the top, figuring correctly that it would be better without it. But the crunchy crumbs are like gravy: not necessary but worth every moment of prep.  Just toast some panko in a little olive oil until golden and use that. Or toasted sourdough bread crumbs, real ones, not ones you buy in a cardboard can, would be perfect.

Have at it. Tell me all about it when you make it. It is from Bon Appetit, obviously.  I wish I could say I created it, but alas, no.

https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/creamy-french-onion-dip