This week has been "wanting fish" week for me. Odd. I bought a piece of black cod (aka sablefish, line caught, USA) at Whole Foods on Wednesday, sauteed it in olive oil and a bit of butter, and it was so luscious and delicious. Very rich. Today I wanted to grill a piece of fish, thinking a halibut steak or something like that. I went to two markets on the way home, nothing that looked good or that I wanted to sell the dog to get (really, $25.99 for salmon, more for halibut, it's fucking local, come on.....) So, in desperation I stopped at Whole Foods again to see what they had. And look! Line caught wild swordfish on sale for $15 a pound! They cut a piece in half for me, I marinated it for about an hour in olive oil, lemon juice, finely minced rosemary and black pepper. Hot grill, three minutes on a side and then off to a plate, tented it and then grilled veggies.
You know how sometimes you grill corn and it is crappy? Dry and overcooked or barely warm and under cooked? Tonight = perfect. Charred, hot and still juicy. And a half red bell pepper, nice. And grilled onions. Long, long ago I often grilled red onions with honey and Dijon mustard. They were good. These, tonight, were better. Here is the link. I didn't go so far as to chop them into a chutney because I only used one large onion and they were so good that I ate half of the entire thing. http://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1018132-barbecued-red-onion-chutney
OK, enough on the perfect grilled dinner.
Book: "Sweet Lamb of Heaven" by Lydia Millet. This book is very well written and quite intense at times but it is also a bit too esoteric for me. It jumps from a typical stalking husband plot (husband who will do anything to get the wife and kid back just to make himself look good) to a group of people who have nothing in common except that they sometimes hear voices, which is not such a bad thing, maybe. Confusing, yes, and you stop really caring about the main character and her daughter because all the voices she has heard and others have heard are never explained and because you want her to just stand up to the dick husband and slap him or, hey, kill him.
The first third is blah. Then it picks up a bit, and it gets a little creepier in the last third but by then you are tired of the little daughter's insight into everything, but then you also feel bad for thinking that because then she acts like a normal six year old for a day. Would I recommend this book? Not really, but not for any reason other than it is so out of the realm of reality that it seems goofy. But then, hey, so did "Gone Girl" and "Girl on a Train" and "The Girl Who Played With Fire" and on and on.
And the fucking crows. Every morning for the past three weeks the crows are up at 4:45. They scream around, doing that barking crow thing for at least 30 minutes, which is totally enough time to wake up a person like me. Then, magically, they shut up. My alarm is set for 6:10, but since the sun comes up around 5:50, once those crows start up, I am fucking awake. So from 5:30 to 6:10 I try to go back to sleep but it's impossible. I hate the crows. I hate them as much as I hate mosquitoes. Why they need to be vocal at 4:45 is a mystery that I do not need to solve. I simply want them to stop. I want them to die.
more on this to follow....
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Dealing with bureaucracy (IRS and SS) and Thelma and Louise
When they tell you to file for Social Security benefits three months in advance, you say to yourself "yeah, right." Then you file two months in advance, thinking even that's silly. And then, you realize, three months might not be enough!
I tried to file and suspend and then collect on one of my ex-husband's social security accounts because even getting half of his is more than all of mine. To do this, I need a court certified copy of the marriage certificate and the divorce agreement. Not a copy, but one from the court with the court seal. OK, one goes online and figures this out. It takes up to 28 days to get a response, which is outrageous but hey, it's the system. And then, today, I get a call from San Mateo County about the request I had for the divorce agreement. Online, which is the only way you can request this unless you go in person, it tells you what you need, what to send, etc. I followed all the rules. The woman on the phone today tells me that they mailed the divorce agreement to me but it came back because there wasn't enough postage so now I need to drive to Redwood City and pick it up! That's a 4 hour round trip drive, at best. Six hours if traffic is bad. I explained this to her, and asked why the website doesn't tell you the postage is going to be more than $0.84, two stamps which is what I put on the requested SASE. She didn't have an answer. I told her I worked a lot and lived two hours from Redwood City, could she just tell me her name, I would mail her some stamps or mail her $5.00. She said no. Then I played the sad, pitiful card: I work 7 days a week (a tiny lie) and can't afford to take that day off to drive to R.C. and I am trying to get Social Security benefits and please, please, anything she could do would help. A long pause and then she says, "OK, I will stamp it and mail it. We aren't supposed to do this but I will." She refused to tell me who she was (for fear of getting in trouble, I am sure) but I thanked her profusely.
I am still waiting to see if the marriage certificate shows up. Different county, different rules.
Then, three weeks ago, 5 weeks after I mailed in my taxes, I get a letter from the IRS telling me I neglected to send in a form about my Covered California insurance benefits. They included an envelope with a mailing label. Again, I followed their directions, included everything, mailed it to them three weeks ago and on this past Friday it came back in the mail with a stamp on the envelope that said "Undeliverable to this address." This is absurd, I mailed it with the label they enclosed for this purpose! What??? So I called and I actually got a real person who said to fax it to them. What the fuck!
So today I went to a fax place and faxed it. At the same time I got new passport photos taken (time to get a new passport) and thus I am getting ready to leave the country. After I get my social security benefits of course.
Twenty five years ago I loved "Thelma and Louise." In some ways it seems like I have known them my entire grown-up life and in other ways it seems like ten years ago that they introduced themselves to me. I just watched the last minute of the movie, and again it brought me to tears. It's time to watch it again, possibly for the tenth time, possibly while drinking tiny bottles of Wild Turkey. Too bad I don't have a convertible.
Thanks for listening.
I tried to file and suspend and then collect on one of my ex-husband's social security accounts because even getting half of his is more than all of mine. To do this, I need a court certified copy of the marriage certificate and the divorce agreement. Not a copy, but one from the court with the court seal. OK, one goes online and figures this out. It takes up to 28 days to get a response, which is outrageous but hey, it's the system. And then, today, I get a call from San Mateo County about the request I had for the divorce agreement. Online, which is the only way you can request this unless you go in person, it tells you what you need, what to send, etc. I followed all the rules. The woman on the phone today tells me that they mailed the divorce agreement to me but it came back because there wasn't enough postage so now I need to drive to Redwood City and pick it up! That's a 4 hour round trip drive, at best. Six hours if traffic is bad. I explained this to her, and asked why the website doesn't tell you the postage is going to be more than $0.84, two stamps which is what I put on the requested SASE. She didn't have an answer. I told her I worked a lot and lived two hours from Redwood City, could she just tell me her name, I would mail her some stamps or mail her $5.00. She said no. Then I played the sad, pitiful card: I work 7 days a week (a tiny lie) and can't afford to take that day off to drive to R.C. and I am trying to get Social Security benefits and please, please, anything she could do would help. A long pause and then she says, "OK, I will stamp it and mail it. We aren't supposed to do this but I will." She refused to tell me who she was (for fear of getting in trouble, I am sure) but I thanked her profusely.
I am still waiting to see if the marriage certificate shows up. Different county, different rules.
Then, three weeks ago, 5 weeks after I mailed in my taxes, I get a letter from the IRS telling me I neglected to send in a form about my Covered California insurance benefits. They included an envelope with a mailing label. Again, I followed their directions, included everything, mailed it to them three weeks ago and on this past Friday it came back in the mail with a stamp on the envelope that said "Undeliverable to this address." This is absurd, I mailed it with the label they enclosed for this purpose! What??? So I called and I actually got a real person who said to fax it to them. What the fuck!
So today I went to a fax place and faxed it. At the same time I got new passport photos taken (time to get a new passport) and thus I am getting ready to leave the country. After I get my social security benefits of course.
Twenty five years ago I loved "Thelma and Louise." In some ways it seems like I have known them my entire grown-up life and in other ways it seems like ten years ago that they introduced themselves to me. I just watched the last minute of the movie, and again it brought me to tears. It's time to watch it again, possibly for the tenth time, possibly while drinking tiny bottles of Wild Turkey. Too bad I don't have a convertible.
Thanks for listening.
Saturday, May 21, 2016
Book report on the bestseller "The Nest" by an author with three names
Three long names, seriously, just get yourself a nice, memorable name. No one is going to remember Deborah D'Aprix Sweeney, I don't care if you are Jim Harrison reincarnated. And a middle name with an apostrophe AND an X? Stupid. You can remember the name of the book but when you try and remember the name of the author, all you will say is something like "her first name was Debra or Cyndy or Sandra and then some name with an A or an X and then a last name like Teeny or Sweeney or Swenson or something." Clearly Cynthia and her agent did not think this through.
But back to the book! I just finished it, three minutes ago, and am not going to mull it over and give you the next day commentary. Here goes. If you know me, and some of you do, you know my skepticism, cynicism and normal negativism about bestsellers. I approach them cautiously if at all and I am primed to dislike them for the simple fact that they are on that best seller list. And yes, I understand that all of the above makes me a huge snob and a bit of a snarky bitch, I get all of that. But come on, when a book like that awful "Gone Girl" hits number one on the charts, even the now dead Casey Kasem would have wretched to announce its position as number one if he was a literary critic instead of a music panderer. Not to mention "Girl on a Train" which achieved the same notoriety. Is it any wonder I scoff at many best seller lists?
But back to the book! The first third is pleasant enough reading but it adheres to the constraints of the bestseller genre, roping you in with all these odd family members and this lump of money they all want and you know from page 35 it isn't going to end well but you read a bit more and you get sort of invested in one or two of the characters and so you read on. About page 100 you put it down and walk away for a day or two. You need a break, those characters are starting to bug you.
But you come back to the book! And for the next 50 pages or so you are lulled into that sort of cloudy realm of nice fiction where some things happen, nothing much, you catch up with the siblings, the kids, the scenarios and before you know it you are on page 200 and something has happened. The writing has gotten better, some of the characters are changing and the plot drifts away from the predictable into the area of not-sure-about-this and you like it a lot better. You keep reading.
By page 300 you are hooked! Now it's a good book! You might not like many of the characters but you can identify with some of them and you sympathize with a few and you can understand them. By the end of the book, you are sorry to see them leave but happy that their endings are not all sad.
Whew. How about that for a vague and dispassionate book review? But it's how I felt. The beginning is what you would expect, it tries to get you to like the people, the middle tosses in some small grenades and by the end some of them become fleshed out (so to speak) and you can like them. It was a good book. Not great, but entertaining.
I have an Advance Readers Edition (which makes me feel like an Advanced Reader!) courtesy of my brother and sister-in-law who work for SF library and can sometimes sneak copies of ARE books from the jaws of the library out into the free world and give them to their siblings, which is hush-hush, so don't tell anyone. That's how I have this book. I did note a couple of errors, small editing things, so I can easily say I read this as a proof reader, although there's no proof of that.
OK, over and out for now.
.
But back to the book! I just finished it, three minutes ago, and am not going to mull it over and give you the next day commentary. Here goes. If you know me, and some of you do, you know my skepticism, cynicism and normal negativism about bestsellers. I approach them cautiously if at all and I am primed to dislike them for the simple fact that they are on that best seller list. And yes, I understand that all of the above makes me a huge snob and a bit of a snarky bitch, I get all of that. But come on, when a book like that awful "Gone Girl" hits number one on the charts, even the now dead Casey Kasem would have wretched to announce its position as number one if he was a literary critic instead of a music panderer. Not to mention "Girl on a Train" which achieved the same notoriety. Is it any wonder I scoff at many best seller lists?
But back to the book! The first third is pleasant enough reading but it adheres to the constraints of the bestseller genre, roping you in with all these odd family members and this lump of money they all want and you know from page 35 it isn't going to end well but you read a bit more and you get sort of invested in one or two of the characters and so you read on. About page 100 you put it down and walk away for a day or two. You need a break, those characters are starting to bug you.
But you come back to the book! And for the next 50 pages or so you are lulled into that sort of cloudy realm of nice fiction where some things happen, nothing much, you catch up with the siblings, the kids, the scenarios and before you know it you are on page 200 and something has happened. The writing has gotten better, some of the characters are changing and the plot drifts away from the predictable into the area of not-sure-about-this and you like it a lot better. You keep reading.
By page 300 you are hooked! Now it's a good book! You might not like many of the characters but you can identify with some of them and you sympathize with a few and you can understand them. By the end of the book, you are sorry to see them leave but happy that their endings are not all sad.
Whew. How about that for a vague and dispassionate book review? But it's how I felt. The beginning is what you would expect, it tries to get you to like the people, the middle tosses in some small grenades and by the end some of them become fleshed out (so to speak) and you can like them. It was a good book. Not great, but entertaining.
I have an Advance Readers Edition (which makes me feel like an Advanced Reader!) courtesy of my brother and sister-in-law who work for SF library and can sometimes sneak copies of ARE books from the jaws of the library out into the free world and give them to their siblings, which is hush-hush, so don't tell anyone. That's how I have this book. I did note a couple of errors, small editing things, so I can easily say I read this as a proof reader, although there's no proof of that.
OK, over and out for now.
.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Shamefully, I return with bits and pieces of topics....
It has been weeks and weeks since I have written and I feel a slight sense of shame about that. The plan to write, the thoughts of writing, the intent was always there but the energy and the motivation were lacking. Plus, there isn't much to say most of the time that hasn't been said over and over and over, thus the blog gets so repetitive that I feel it's like a Merry-go-round, horses bobbing up and down but never getting anywhere, prancing in place, still-life in a circle again and again. Not that this blog is as lively or as colorful or as fun as a good Merry-go-round, but you get my drift.
A few things that I can talk about from the past couple of weeks:
Movies: I saw 2 movies in the theater and two on disc that deserve mention. "Eye in the Sky", which is now gone from theaters. Almost real-time, it's an intense view of a small military crew sitting in a room trying to decide when to blow up, with drones, a safe house where terrorists are hiding. The thing holding back the decision to activate the bomber drones is an innocent civilian that will no doubt be killed when the bomb hits. The fact that this is a child is even more egregious. The decision, to bomb or not bomb, is almost never in question but no one wants to be the person who, in essence, pushes the button. Very intense, not one wasted scene or word, excellent performances by the late Alan Rickman, Helen Mirren, Aaron Paul and others, you come away dazed by reality of the black soul of war and the stupidity of it and the necessity of it at the same time. Part of its brilliance is that you can see validity in both sides even when you don't want to.
"Hologram for the King" with Tom Hanks, based on the novel by Dave Eggers. This is a small, enjoyable movie, nothing too powerful here but it's always a pleasure to watch Hanks and the absurdity of different cultures bouncing off each other. No big Oscar winners here but I liked it.
"Inside Out" on disc. Pixar's animated movie of last year took me totally by surprise. It's all about feelings (personified rather well) and the interplay of our feelings and how that makes us who we are. Simplistic, yes, but done so well and, as one review put it, "it's the rare animated film that makes you feel smarter in the end." For me it evoked more than a few tears, and not because of the plight of the little girl but because of the understanding that sorrow and fear and anger all come together to help us be joyful and happy. I dare you to see it without at least getting a bit teary.
Books: A renegade novel "Dodgers" isn't about baseball but about gang members sent across the country to kill someone they don't know. Sounds cold and cruel, and in most ways it is. Funny at times as well, but in the end you are invested in these boys/men and you want their lives to be better. You stick around to see if that will happen. By Bill Beverly.
I am still trying to find the next Wonderful Novel, so if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. I read "The Mare" by Mary Gaitskill which was good but not great, ditto "Hold Still" by Lynn Steger Strong. And "High Mountains of Portugal" by Yann Martel, which has some very funny accounts of a guy driving through Portugal in 1904 in one of the first cars ever driven in that country, but still, it hasn't grabbed me. I want a grabber.
Food: nothing to report here. Lots of stir-fry veggies dishes but there's nothing more to say about that. Well, I will once again praise the smoked salmon at the Santa Rosa Fish Company, it's the best smoked salmon I have ever had, it will change your life. Eat it all by itself, on a cracker, put some on a salad, flake it into pasta with some peas and a little cream, it goes great with white wine and perfect with a nice Margarita.
Money: not enough of it. Like the above smoked salmon, there is never enough to make me satisfied.
Work is the same, I am very tired of this six day a week gig but we all have heard that before. The Very Elderly Mother is still old, getting frailer but that's life. It happens.
Cooper is now pawing at me to feed him, it's ten minutes past 5:00 and that's simply ten minutes late in his book.
More later. And how about that Stephen Curry! What's up with that unanimous MVP vote? The guy must be genuinely solid and a true nice guy.... no one gets every vote, but he did! That's amazing. I am meeting two guys from work at a bar in an hour to watch some of tonight's Warriors game. YAY.
.
A few things that I can talk about from the past couple of weeks:
Movies: I saw 2 movies in the theater and two on disc that deserve mention. "Eye in the Sky", which is now gone from theaters. Almost real-time, it's an intense view of a small military crew sitting in a room trying to decide when to blow up, with drones, a safe house where terrorists are hiding. The thing holding back the decision to activate the bomber drones is an innocent civilian that will no doubt be killed when the bomb hits. The fact that this is a child is even more egregious. The decision, to bomb or not bomb, is almost never in question but no one wants to be the person who, in essence, pushes the button. Very intense, not one wasted scene or word, excellent performances by the late Alan Rickman, Helen Mirren, Aaron Paul and others, you come away dazed by reality of the black soul of war and the stupidity of it and the necessity of it at the same time. Part of its brilliance is that you can see validity in both sides even when you don't want to.
"Hologram for the King" with Tom Hanks, based on the novel by Dave Eggers. This is a small, enjoyable movie, nothing too powerful here but it's always a pleasure to watch Hanks and the absurdity of different cultures bouncing off each other. No big Oscar winners here but I liked it.
"Inside Out" on disc. Pixar's animated movie of last year took me totally by surprise. It's all about feelings (personified rather well) and the interplay of our feelings and how that makes us who we are. Simplistic, yes, but done so well and, as one review put it, "it's the rare animated film that makes you feel smarter in the end." For me it evoked more than a few tears, and not because of the plight of the little girl but because of the understanding that sorrow and fear and anger all come together to help us be joyful and happy. I dare you to see it without at least getting a bit teary.
Books: A renegade novel "Dodgers" isn't about baseball but about gang members sent across the country to kill someone they don't know. Sounds cold and cruel, and in most ways it is. Funny at times as well, but in the end you are invested in these boys/men and you want their lives to be better. You stick around to see if that will happen. By Bill Beverly.
I am still trying to find the next Wonderful Novel, so if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. I read "The Mare" by Mary Gaitskill which was good but not great, ditto "Hold Still" by Lynn Steger Strong. And "High Mountains of Portugal" by Yann Martel, which has some very funny accounts of a guy driving through Portugal in 1904 in one of the first cars ever driven in that country, but still, it hasn't grabbed me. I want a grabber.
Food: nothing to report here. Lots of stir-fry veggies dishes but there's nothing more to say about that. Well, I will once again praise the smoked salmon at the Santa Rosa Fish Company, it's the best smoked salmon I have ever had, it will change your life. Eat it all by itself, on a cracker, put some on a salad, flake it into pasta with some peas and a little cream, it goes great with white wine and perfect with a nice Margarita.
Money: not enough of it. Like the above smoked salmon, there is never enough to make me satisfied.
Work is the same, I am very tired of this six day a week gig but we all have heard that before. The Very Elderly Mother is still old, getting frailer but that's life. It happens.
Cooper is now pawing at me to feed him, it's ten minutes past 5:00 and that's simply ten minutes late in his book.
More later. And how about that Stephen Curry! What's up with that unanimous MVP vote? The guy must be genuinely solid and a true nice guy.... no one gets every vote, but he did! That's amazing. I am meeting two guys from work at a bar in an hour to watch some of tonight's Warriors game. YAY.
.
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Homeless, but what are they wearing?
Walking the dog early in the morning, it is obvious that the homeless population of Sonoma County and specifically Santa Rosa, is growing rapidly. Not a morning goes by that I don't see several people sleeping in the park or in the bushes or in the shelter of some random building. Included would have to be all the homeless who are already up, moving their possessions around or stashing them somewhere, like in the bushes or under the bridge by the creek. Sometimes they are rearranging their stuff, transferring things from one plastic bag to another. To say that it's sad to see trivializes the entire situation.
But I have recently seen another phenomenon: discarded items of clothing. Lots of items, from underwear (very yucky) to shirts, shorts, sweatshirts, skirts, shoes, socks. You name it, I have seen it on a bench or lying on the ground or hanging from a tree or tossed on the top of a trash can. Maybe because they have no way to wash their clothes, they just toss them away. Maybe it's one more possession that is simply too encumbering. I have also seen people, early in the morning, digging through the Goodwill kiosks around town, looking for clothes people have donated. So it isn't that the homeless don't need clothes. It's a puzzlement.
And this leads me to another thought: if I won a bunch of money in the lottery, I would like to create a mobile laundry and shower facility for anyone to use. I know they do this in SF now and then. Anyone, especially those in dire need, could come in and do a load of laundry (wash and dry) and take a shower. There would be a limit of course, one load per person, one 6 minute shower per person. It would be free, funded from my lottery winnings. Even with the current drought, I think it could be done economically and I believe there is such a need for this that it could be operating 20 hours a day. In one hour a person could have clean clothes and a clean body.
Until then, Cooper and I will watch the piles of tossed clothes accumulate and we will wish we could help.
But I have recently seen another phenomenon: discarded items of clothing. Lots of items, from underwear (very yucky) to shirts, shorts, sweatshirts, skirts, shoes, socks. You name it, I have seen it on a bench or lying on the ground or hanging from a tree or tossed on the top of a trash can. Maybe because they have no way to wash their clothes, they just toss them away. Maybe it's one more possession that is simply too encumbering. I have also seen people, early in the morning, digging through the Goodwill kiosks around town, looking for clothes people have donated. So it isn't that the homeless don't need clothes. It's a puzzlement.
And this leads me to another thought: if I won a bunch of money in the lottery, I would like to create a mobile laundry and shower facility for anyone to use. I know they do this in SF now and then. Anyone, especially those in dire need, could come in and do a load of laundry (wash and dry) and take a shower. There would be a limit of course, one load per person, one 6 minute shower per person. It would be free, funded from my lottery winnings. Even with the current drought, I think it could be done economically and I believe there is such a need for this that it could be operating 20 hours a day. In one hour a person could have clean clothes and a clean body.
Until then, Cooper and I will watch the piles of tossed clothes accumulate and we will wish we could help.
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Some books, some halibut, some lemons
Had I know how delicious and handy preserved lemons could be, I would have made them years before. But diced up fine and tossed in a salad, diced and mixed with .... anything, like shallots or scallions or tapenade, with a bit of olive oil and spread on a piece of fish or chicken, or tossed in a stir-fry, and on and on. Delicious. Seriously, two ingredients, lemons and salt, and you have something that will last for months and never let you down. Google "preserved lemons" and pick whatever recipe is the simplest, no herbs, nothing but lemons and salt, let them sit a week in a dark place and then in the fridge forever. I didn't use any water, just more lemon juice on top of the salty squished lemons in the jar and it was perfect.
Then we segue to halibut: was in Whole Foods last Friday or Sunday, I can never tell those two days apart, and the fish guy was lining up pieces of fresh halibut that was ON SALE (so it must have been Friday) at a reasonable $12.99 a pound, never frozen, wild in USA, yada, yada. I got a piece about a half pound, which sounds glutinous but wasn't. Too small to build a fire to grill it so I plopped it on a piece of tin foil, drizzled a couple of spoonfuls of white wine on it, tossed about a spoonful of cold butter (cut up) around the edges and on top, some of Trader Joe's Olive Tapenade, which is the best I have ever bought. I mixed a couple of spoonfuls of that with a small bit of diced preserved lemon (see above) and a few red pepper flakes and a tiny bit of olive oil. Didn't seal the foil, just smushed it up around the top and put it in a 450 oven for about 12 minutes with a sheet pan of asparagus and spring onions, all done at the same time. Hello Dead Fish! I could have eaten a pound of it (well, possibly, we will never know) because it was that delicious. Done perfectly, still moist but flaky, not one bit dry (as halibut can get) and rich and unctuous and with the veggies and a glass of dry white wine from the land of the French, it was the perfect dinner. (Insert smiley face here, but no, please don't, just envision a nice smiling face.)
And on to books. I have been reading a lot of books on death lately, don't know why. Well, I could surmise but that's a blog for another day. I read the latest best seller by the doctor who died: "When Breath Becomes Air" by Paul Kalanithi and another one titled "In the Slender Margin" by Eve Joseph. And I read "H is for Hawk" by Helen Macdonald. The first is moving because Kalanithi is young, is a neurosurgeon and is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. He is brilliant and practical and wary and aware, all at the same time. It's worth reading, of course, to know how it feels to know you are pretty much dead toast but still you have hope. It is heart breaking in so many ways. But oddly, I wasn't as moved as I wanted to be. He wrote so well but for me there was a disconnect, which is probably the only way he could write about his death which was waiting for him, teeth bared, in the next room.
"In the Slender Margin" is written by a woman who worked as a hospice counselor. The subtitle of the book is "The Intimate Strangeness of Death and Dying" which is rather appropriate. She writes about rituals around dying from various cultures, how different people deal with death and dying and the history (sort of) of it all. Joseph is a poet, so the book is lyrical in many ways and is a quick read, you can finish it in two or three days. There are passages that are beautiful and passages that give you good insight to how we and others deal with the entire death process.
"H is for Hawk" is about grief, and thus isn't about death directly, but hey, I just finished it so it gets added in here for the monthly book report. I am torn about this book. Great critical acclaim, of course, and the writing is very good but then I have some quibbles. It's essentially the story of a woman dealing with the death of her father and of her subsequently raising and training of a hawk. Not just any hawk but the SuperFly of the Hawk world, a Goshawk. Along the way she delves into the life of T.H.White, a British writer ("The Once and Future King" and others) who also raised a hawk. The book is like one long allegory about grief and letting go and being reborn and retraining oneself to see the world in a new way. For me, there was too much about White and I got tired of her relating her hawk to real people (and she admits she humanized the hawk too much as well) but there are passages that work well and are lovely to read. It seemed a little forced at times, like she needed to add just One More Dramatic Episode of the Hawk Gouging Her and Making Her Bleed. (Yes, I know, I am being petty.) I simply didn't swoon over it as many have. But then, as we all know, I swoon rarely. I am glad I finished it, especially because the last thirty pages were quite good. (Wow, how really lame that sounds, but so it stands.)
But still, I think out of all the books I have read on death and dying and all that, "Being Mortal" grabbed me the most. Maybe because it was the first book of this current genre that I read, maybe because he, Gawande, is clinical in parts and emotional in others, but I have recommended that book to so many people and I will continue to do so.
OK, that's all I have right now, at this moment, on this evening. Now it is time to clutter up the kitchen and make some dinner.
.
Then we segue to halibut: was in Whole Foods last Friday or Sunday, I can never tell those two days apart, and the fish guy was lining up pieces of fresh halibut that was ON SALE (so it must have been Friday) at a reasonable $12.99 a pound, never frozen, wild in USA, yada, yada. I got a piece about a half pound, which sounds glutinous but wasn't. Too small to build a fire to grill it so I plopped it on a piece of tin foil, drizzled a couple of spoonfuls of white wine on it, tossed about a spoonful of cold butter (cut up) around the edges and on top, some of Trader Joe's Olive Tapenade, which is the best I have ever bought. I mixed a couple of spoonfuls of that with a small bit of diced preserved lemon (see above) and a few red pepper flakes and a tiny bit of olive oil. Didn't seal the foil, just smushed it up around the top and put it in a 450 oven for about 12 minutes with a sheet pan of asparagus and spring onions, all done at the same time. Hello Dead Fish! I could have eaten a pound of it (well, possibly, we will never know) because it was that delicious. Done perfectly, still moist but flaky, not one bit dry (as halibut can get) and rich and unctuous and with the veggies and a glass of dry white wine from the land of the French, it was the perfect dinner. (Insert smiley face here, but no, please don't, just envision a nice smiling face.)
And on to books. I have been reading a lot of books on death lately, don't know why. Well, I could surmise but that's a blog for another day. I read the latest best seller by the doctor who died: "When Breath Becomes Air" by Paul Kalanithi and another one titled "In the Slender Margin" by Eve Joseph. And I read "H is for Hawk" by Helen Macdonald. The first is moving because Kalanithi is young, is a neurosurgeon and is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. He is brilliant and practical and wary and aware, all at the same time. It's worth reading, of course, to know how it feels to know you are pretty much dead toast but still you have hope. It is heart breaking in so many ways. But oddly, I wasn't as moved as I wanted to be. He wrote so well but for me there was a disconnect, which is probably the only way he could write about his death which was waiting for him, teeth bared, in the next room.
"In the Slender Margin" is written by a woman who worked as a hospice counselor. The subtitle of the book is "The Intimate Strangeness of Death and Dying" which is rather appropriate. She writes about rituals around dying from various cultures, how different people deal with death and dying and the history (sort of) of it all. Joseph is a poet, so the book is lyrical in many ways and is a quick read, you can finish it in two or three days. There are passages that are beautiful and passages that give you good insight to how we and others deal with the entire death process.
"H is for Hawk" is about grief, and thus isn't about death directly, but hey, I just finished it so it gets added in here for the monthly book report. I am torn about this book. Great critical acclaim, of course, and the writing is very good but then I have some quibbles. It's essentially the story of a woman dealing with the death of her father and of her subsequently raising and training of a hawk. Not just any hawk but the SuperFly of the Hawk world, a Goshawk. Along the way she delves into the life of T.H.White, a British writer ("The Once and Future King" and others) who also raised a hawk. The book is like one long allegory about grief and letting go and being reborn and retraining oneself to see the world in a new way. For me, there was too much about White and I got tired of her relating her hawk to real people (and she admits she humanized the hawk too much as well) but there are passages that work well and are lovely to read. It seemed a little forced at times, like she needed to add just One More Dramatic Episode of the Hawk Gouging Her and Making Her Bleed. (Yes, I know, I am being petty.) I simply didn't swoon over it as many have. But then, as we all know, I swoon rarely. I am glad I finished it, especially because the last thirty pages were quite good. (Wow, how really lame that sounds, but so it stands.)
But still, I think out of all the books I have read on death and dying and all that, "Being Mortal" grabbed me the most. Maybe because it was the first book of this current genre that I read, maybe because he, Gawande, is clinical in parts and emotional in others, but I have recommended that book to so many people and I will continue to do so.
OK, that's all I have right now, at this moment, on this evening. Now it is time to clutter up the kitchen and make some dinner.
.
Thursday, April 14, 2016
Mon passeport et ma vie aujourd'hui
In the French class I am taking on Thursdays after work, we come in with "le petite histoire" to read to the class. Our little story can be about anything, what we did that day, how our garden looks, work, walkin0og the dog, or it can be a fictional account of anything. The point is to write something and share it with the class. (The class, by the way, is three people and a teacher, so there is time for all of us to share our petites histoires.)
Today mine was about finding my passports and looking at all the stamps and remembering all the countries I have visited. "Il m'a fait plaisir" means "it made me happy" and it did. I added up all the countries I have visited and the total is more than 18. Wow. (Of course that includes the really small countries like the Vatican and San Marino, but of course they are their own countries and thus I was forced to count them.) As my little story noted, it made me want to buy a ticket, or je veux acheter un billet but I knew I had to wait. It's time to renew my current passport, which I will do soon, and then it will be time to figure out where to go at the end of this year. Somewhere old, somewhere new, I am not sure. I have some ideas, but I always have ideas of where to travel. There is never a shortage of ideas.
"Mon passeport et ma vie aujourd'hui." I should let you all look it up but I will save you the trouble: "my passport and my life today." I wish there was some cool add-on about my life today but other than work, French class, reading and making dinner and now watching some episodes of the current "House of Cards," that's about it. Ma vie est boring, for the most part. But my passports are not. I consider that a saving grace.
.
Today mine was about finding my passports and looking at all the stamps and remembering all the countries I have visited. "Il m'a fait plaisir" means "it made me happy" and it did. I added up all the countries I have visited and the total is more than 18. Wow. (Of course that includes the really small countries like the Vatican and San Marino, but of course they are their own countries and thus I was forced to count them.) As my little story noted, it made me want to buy a ticket, or je veux acheter un billet but I knew I had to wait. It's time to renew my current passport, which I will do soon, and then it will be time to figure out where to go at the end of this year. Somewhere old, somewhere new, I am not sure. I have some ideas, but I always have ideas of where to travel. There is never a shortage of ideas.
"Mon passeport et ma vie aujourd'hui." I should let you all look it up but I will save you the trouble: "my passport and my life today." I wish there was some cool add-on about my life today but other than work, French class, reading and making dinner and now watching some episodes of the current "House of Cards," that's about it. Ma vie est boring, for the most part. But my passports are not. I consider that a saving grace.
.
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