The Out-of-Work Blues

Don't worry, I'm not going to belabor this issue but I do have to occasionally acknowledge it. I need to recognize a few facts about this unemployment go-round:

• Even though the economy is supposedly "on the rise" that will have little effect on my getting a job.
• The odds of my getting a decent (or even an indecent) job at the age of 62 are very slim.
• The amount of unemployment compensation I will get will be very small this time.
• I am very worried and afraid.

OK, those are my salient points.  If I was the same person I was three years ago, almost to the day, that I was layed off from the oyster company, I would be spouting the party line: "something will turn up, I always land on my feet, I am not too worried, there are still jobs out there."  And on and on.  However, since previously I only found a job after being on the dole for two years because a friend broke her leg, I doubt that scenario is going to repeat itself this time around.

But for now all I can do is look for work, apply for jobs that I am either over or under qualified for, be willing to work for less than $15 an hour and hope for some benefits.  In the meantime, which could be years, I take my cup of coffee out into the garden and watch the bees on the tall, blue-flowered salvia do their work and feel the warmth of the sun on my legs.  Cooper and I take longer walks every morning and I drink less whiskey every night.  (Not talking about my wine consumption, however!)  I am reading a lot of books, obviously, and have a slew of them on my request list at the library.  This weekend I am flying to Texas to see my beautiful daughter, a trip planned weeks ago, and I am looking forward to that.  My life at this moment is on a sort of  "one day at a time" calendar.

Sad and cranky and depressed, they are lurking around the corner and show up unannounced and uninvited at the most unusual times. So do tears.  I am accepting them as characters in this current production.  Too bad it's my life that is the script.

Cooper is laying in the sun right now.  The day, so far, is lovely.  We'll leave it at that.

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