Talking kids

I had a call from my son last night, he had just read the blog about the norovirus that had knocked me out for a couple of days and was concerned that I wasn't still sick and pooping.  (Crass.)  As most of my conversations with Gabe are, this one was good and funny and there was some depth there.  He had been in Eugene (Oregon, just in case you lived in a cave) and had watched the two Major Football Games this past weekend. One of those games involved the hometown team (aka 49ers) and one involved the Denver Broncos.

Gabe and his Dad are intense football fans.  When I was married to John (The Dad) I swear the house could have burned down to the ground and his kids could have been abducted by aliens, all in the first quarter, and he would not have noticed. John almost levitated when watching football, he was that serious.   John's Dad was the first person I ever knew who could watch three TV's at one time and listen to the radio simultaneously and keep it all straight and yell at the appropriate screen or announcer with the appropriate diatribe and never get them mixed up.  John inherited that talent. (Or genetic weakness, if you will.)  Gabe could also be that person, but now, three TVs are not necessary. He and his Dad probably stream everything at all times.  And I know for a fact that they still scream at the TV.

All of this is just cover for the conversation I had with my son.  You know how most men are linear in their thinking?  One thing at a time, then another, then another. Those men can think fast but they don't think the same way women do, in a circular fashion. It is rare to find a man who does.

Gabe does.  He can jump around in a conversation from linear to global to circular to google-like and it is easy to follow.  We talked about the demarcation of time ("end of football season and the beginning of the new season is a new year!") and how that translates into our regular life. We talked about convenient forgetting, how humans have that ability to just erase a bad memory and live with that empty space or, better, fill it in with a horse looking over the stable door. (Or something equally as charming.)  We talked about his Dad and about Jenn and about Annie and her family and traveling and so many things.

It is no secret that I love my kids.  I love every aspect of them and I love when these sorts of conversations take place.  Jenn and I talk about the every day, the mundane, the crappy job or the good job, but that's because we see each other every day. Gabe and I talk in more esoteric ways, but that's because we don't have a lot of time for the mundane. He is busy, I am busy, let's just TALK.  And we do.

This is just about the above.  I have read that many people always see their kids as kids.  They always see them as needing the parents as protectors.  I remember my kids as kids, I remember being their protector in so many ways.  But now I see them as they are: amazing adults. They don't need protecting (but I would protect them at any second) and they are so smart and worldly and wise.  So much wiser than I will ever be.  And they are kind and generous. I don't see them as kids now. I see them as they are, pretty much grown-ups and doing well.  It astounds me.  Where was I when this happened?  That they are this old and that I am this old...... well, I guess it's a good thing. 

We should all be circled by the love we give and the love we take.  Give more. Take less. It all comes back.

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