"Babywearing" is the new "cool" thing. I guess.

There was an article in the Sunday Santa Rosa Press Democrat newspaper about this new phenomenon that is sweeping the nation called "babywearing."  Seriously.  It is the radical (albeit ancient) practice of tying your baby to your body with rags and old towels.  No, that's not correct. You tie the kid to you with Hermes scarves and hand-woven fabrics that cost more than $200 for a piece of material that your kid is going to throw up on.  (Or you, the parent, might once you realize how much this "trend" is costing you.)

Now, don't get me wrong, I have no problems with carrying your kid next to you, wrapped in a sling device.  It frees your arms to do other things like stock up on Lululemon tank tops (at $77 each) or reach for those organic $8.99 per pound tomatoes at your local farmers market.  Women, mostly, have been carrying their babies like this for decades, but those women were using whatever fabric was at hand.  The new generation of baby makers and babywearers would probably gag at the idea of using "whatever fabric was at hand."  That could mean anything, like a sheet or a curtain or something that had no actual value.  

Just the name makes me cringe: babywearing.  Like your baby is the new accessory.  What is next?  I know for certain that kitten and puppy wearing are already taking place.  (Cooper has been whining that he wants me to wear him.  I have explained to him that, yes, I would be happy to wear him.  AS A PIECE OF TANNED HIDE!  He did not like that idea.)

With so many people walking around with their phones in their faces, it will be very soon that we see the younger generation (pre-babywearers) with designer slings for their phones and iPads.  That way the device is always at hand but their hands are momentarily free to pick up that $30 bottle of hand-crafted beer that they just read about on said device.  We could call them "padwearers" but that sounds too .... distasteful.  We might call them "Applewearers" or "androidwearers" but maybe we should just call them sheep.

If the above sounds like an old lady rant, I assure you I am not that old.  Snuggle your babies, yes.  But there are sites and stores and commerce devoted to this trendy thing and I fear it's simply another person's way to make money off the rich young baby producers.  It's not new, kids.  What's new is your obsession with yourselves.  Hug your babies.  Give up the accouterments.

But hey, just my opinion.  I could be wrong.

.