Sorry, just had to get that out there, at 9,700 steps today which will be 10,000 after the nightly stroll, this time to the corner and back and it's more a hobble than a stroll.
Before I go farther, I know that this font is really small but I cannot change it on this device I am using so put on those reading glasses and deal with it. Please and I thank you. Basically, I can't change how the blog looks, so we will simply adjust to what we have instead of what I want. Which is, of course, what life is all about. "You can't always get what you want but if you try, sometimes you get what you need."
It's odd, but I gave this some thought today while on the Metro (instead of on my feet) and I can't figure out why I am less sure of myself now than I was 25 years ago traveling. You would think that having been to this city about 15 times in the past 25 - 30 years I would know it well enough to be strong and confident and decisive. Yet I find myself second guessing everything! (Well, most everything, I am still sure that any bottle of wine I get in the local Mom-and-Pop market for 8 euros will be delicious and it always is!) But I took the Metro today and I had to seriously stop and think about the process, which is basically: know the end route, put the tiny ticket in the slot and go. That's it.
It all worked out fine but it brought on a world of confusion just thinking about the process. (Not old age confusion, mind you, just the confusion you get when wondering why something is what it is.) Is it our lot to get more confused the older we get despite our years of wisdom or is it just my rambling mind experiencing this? When younger, it seemed we plowed through things with unsubstantiated confidence and things usually worked out well. Now, at this older point in life, I am at times 100 % sure of what to do and at other times, like today, conflicted. Where's that store of knowledge and experience when I need it?
Last evening I walked to the Jardin des Plantes to see an exhibition of luminaries. It was about a 25 minute walk. Today I took the Metro for a totally different reason and when I exited the Metro station (after an 8 minute ride) when I turned around, there was the entrance to the Jardin des Plantes! It made me laugh out loud.
All this is to say that everything we do, all the time, everyday, is nothing but one more fucking life lesson, whether it is in France or Rome or Pasadena or in the ghetto of our minds. When we stop learning, whether about ourselves or about the world, then that's the time to kick it over the goalpost of life and call it a day. There is no growth without change and there is no change without questioning everything.
So sayeth the small print oracle.
I am going to try and insert a photo here, the view from my flat. It is of Norte Dame but let's see if it shows up.
So true about getting less decisive as we get older, at least for me too. It's disconcerting. I did not imagine that happening. I thought the opposite would be the case. Instead I have too 'power through'. Thanks for sharing.
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