Beautiful apartment, reasonable rent, SCAM

Thank you for answering my ad. The apartment is beautiful and comes fully furnished with everything you need, beautiful sheets, microwave, high tech kitchen, sandwich press, freezer, everything you would like.  Here is the address, drive by and see if you like the neighborhood.

I am in the Philippines, Kenya, Buenos Aires, Jakarta right now, doing the Lord's work (if someone named Lord actually hired this joker, that Lord is a loser) and that is why I am renting my home.  I had to leave quickly (no shit) and didn't have time to leave the keys with anyone. If you like the neighborhood, let me know and I will email you a form to fill out.  I am working with the Lord's trust here (again, can we say loser) and I am doing all of this in his name and so I must trust you to do the right thing. (And that "right thing" would be slam your head into the brick wall, correct?).  Once you fill out the rental form, I will ask you to send me two months rent and then I will send you the keys to the apartment.  In the meantime I will send you photos of the inside so you can see that it is beautiful and I am telling the truth about how beautiful it is. (And those photos will come from the latest issue of Architectural Digest, it appears.)  Once you have the keys, the place is yours.

Again, do not try and trick me and I won't trick you. I am trusting you with my personal furniture and housewares, I expect you to treat them with respect and care. I hope to hear from you with your rental agreement very soon, as I need to have this apartment rented in three days.

And I have read pretty much that exact script at least 8 times in the past ten days. Are there people out there who would fall for this?  My response now is something like: Yes, I love the area, I want to rent this apartment but only in cash.  Please don't ask for any identification, but I can bring you a year's worth of rent in cash, in a small briefcase, all small unmarked bills.  I will use the apartment only two or three days a month.  How soon can we meet, I need the place within the next 48 hours.  Keep this to yourself.

Needless to say, I never hear back from them.  Too bad, I would love to string them along. Mention that the FBI is looking for me and that's why the secrecy is important, set up a meet (which would never happen because they are in the Philippines! for gods sake) but how cool to toy with them.

So the search for either a roommate (grrr) or new digs continues.