Mom's Memorial, or the Tossing of the Ashes

It is not entirely legal, of course, to toss a dead person's ashes on state owned land in California.  There are regulations.  Permits are required. Waiting periods are necessary.

We didn't do any of those things. On the Sonora Pass, above the town of Sonora, where Mom lived for about 15 years (and where she was usually happy), there is an area called the Dardanelles that Mom really  liked. In that area is a state designated overlook area called Donnell Lake overlook where the Stanislaus River has created a huge gorge. It's lovely and in the past we (several of us kids at different times) took Mom on a ride from Sonora up to this overlook, had a little walk and Mom often said that if she couldn't have her ashes scattered in Scotland, this place would be just fine. The bonus was that on the ride back down the mountain we would stop at a cool dive bar and Mom could have a Guinness and we (whoever was ferrying her that day) could also have a beer and a shot. It made for a joyful afternoon: a nice drive, great scenery, pine trees, gorgeous overlook and booze. What about that isn't a good thing?

So off we went yesterday morning, all six of us kids, after meeting at a parking lot in Sonora, caravanning up to this spot, 14 of us total (grandkids, mates, etc), carrying Mom's ashes and some Irish Whiskey, some poems and some memories.  It's a public place, of course, so we had to be discreet. We spent about a half hour just looking over the scene, wandering around until we found a spot off the main trail, it had a nice drop and a large flat rock to sit or stand on. It was good. Anyone who wanted to say anything or read anything could, and did. My brother Joe sang a beautiful version of "Red River Valley" with lyrics changed to suit my Mom, and his a cappella voice brought tears to everyone's eyes. Then we opened the bag and .... whoosh!  There she went, over the edge and into the void. The wind was in our favor, no blow-back.  We then tossed a shot of whiskey over the edge for her, had a shot in her honor, took a couple of photos, and that was it. Mom's ashes were in the wind and on the rocks of the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

We all gathered later at a local restaurant, in a private room, had dinner, drank wine, looked at lots of photos of Mom, Dad and all of us from 1940's until 2010 and drank more wine. Finally we returned to a local hotel where many of us stayed, sat around the pool until after dark and three of my brothers played nice, soft music. Mom would have loved all of it.

The Mom Legend is finished, it seems, at least in the physical realm.  Yes, she lives on in memories and maybe her spirit will find another body to inhabit (if that sort of thing happens) but for us the formality and the ritual of putting her where she wanted to be is over.  Jenn kept some of the ashes and she and Dar may take them to Scotland in the next year or two, which would make Mom very happy. But our part in her life is finished.

It's nice to know that wherever her soul/spirit/force is, it is now up to her to make the most of the next episode.  If there is one, of course.  Who knows?  

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