Inhospitably hospitable in the Hospitality Industry

After more than 20 years in this industry, I am very good at my job.  Smile and nod, laugh at inane comments, express delight at photos on a phone of really ugly dogs.  Do concierge work for no tips, accept criticism of things for which I have never had responsibility,  wave goodbye with a smile and the thought "I hope you never return, you useless prick of a person and while I don't wish you great bodily harm I do hope your head falls off in the next two days."  

I have the kind of face that, set in a certain way, makes people shut up.  That's not the kind of face the Hospitality Industry approves of and therefore that face does not show up too often while at the front desk.  I also have, it seems, the kind of face that, set in a certain way, makes people happy and chatty and willing to tell me personal details of their lives that I never wanted to hear. That's the kind of face that I am suppose to wear at work but that face makes me cringe at its fakeness. We all wear masks at different times but I am tired of wearing one so often. 

On the days I work, I wear that face and I talk to the strangers who are at my workplace. I talk about nothing important, about restaurants, about trails, wineries, the weather, about food, about tourist stuff. I can chat about all that and more and never care about one syllable of the  words coming out of my mouth.  But the guests don't know that. That's the job.

On my days off, I don't talk much. I avoid it as much as possible, actually, not minding if my only conversation of the day revolves around "....would you like your receipt?"  The chatter that follows me around on the job is like cereal in my mind, flakes and popping and eventually mush. While working, one must attend to that chatter.  While not working, I don't have to listen, respond, rinse or repeat. 

Yes, I am very good at my job. No, I do not want to do this for the long distance future. Less chatter, less cereal in my brain, more vistas, more travel, more quiet on my terms, please. I want more conversations with people I love and like, not with people i am paid to smile at. 

Thank you for listening. 

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