Yes, I will admit that I am a bit of a snob when it comes to sharing food. My theory is that if you are going to cook something to share with others, make it something good! Make it something that will either WOW people or at least make them say "YUM!" What you bring should not make people say "YUK" even to themselves, and hopefully not say it out loud.
A large bowl of plain cooked quinoa is not an appropriate thing to bring to a holiday potluck, sorry. Plain. Cooked. Quinoa. Nothing in it, no flavor, no seasoning. What is that supposed to mean? "Hey, sorry, I had this in the cupboard and needed to use it by the expiration date so just take a big spoonful and eat up!" Equally inappropriate is a tiny little salad that would really only serve one person as a side dish and it had been drowned in a vinaigrette dressing hours before, so the lettuce and mushrooms and pears were slippery, wilted and inedible. (And the flavor combo of raw mushrooms and pears is no bueno, just saying.) Also inedible was falafel that seemed to be made with kidney beans instead of chickpeas and was shaped like tiny footballs and then baked. The footballs were heavy enough to have been kicked over a goalpost.
Also present was a kale salad that looked festive with its green leaves and red bell peppers but aren't we done with kale salad by now? Didn't kale salad peak about two years ago? If you MUST make it, could you at least shred the large kale leaves so that when you eat it you don't have a huge leaf hanging out of your mouth, making you look like a thoughtful dinosaur as you chew and chew and chew. Come on, we all know that kale is tough. Large kale leaves are impossible to eat standing up, with a plastic fork. How is this appropriate for a potluck party?
Finally, mac and cheese. This would be a great addition to a buffet, everyone loves mac and cheese, it heats up well, it is easy to eat off of paper plates with plastic forks, you can use any kind of cheese and even add veggies to it (like broccoli) if you want to pretend to make it healthy. But what you don't want to do is use a cheese-like dairy-free substance that is not creamy but curdles into something that looks and tastes like gravel and smells like wet cardboard. So, so sad.
There was one amazing dish, made by the host of the party, a French concoction called aligot, which is basically really, really cheesy mashed potatoes. It was hot, rich, warm and comforting. I had three helpings.
Sad that the only "luck" at this potluck was the bad luck of eating this stuff. (Good thing no one at the party reads this blog.) For me, it was a short visit, a taste of everything except the plain quinoa (seriously, add some chopped veggies and make it a salad) and then out the door.
Yes, I admit to being very judgemental and bitchy about potluck dinners. Maybe it's because everyone I know is a really good cook and if they aren't, they know how to buy a really good pie and bring that, or pick up a quart of a pre-made salad or side dish at a good grocery store. Even Safeway potato salad would have been a welcome guest. Who can't venture into Whole Foods and come out with something nice? In the past year I have attended a couple of potluck dinners that were amazing, so I know it can be done. So, there you have it, my blunt criticism of the Sad Potluck Dinner Party. No apologies on my part, I stand by my opinion.
Oh, and if you want to know what I brought, I offered to bring something sweet. I brought my homemade Very Dark Chocolate Cookies. I left off the nuts because I knew one person was allergic to nuts, but they were incredibly delicious sprinkled with a little sea salt instead of the nuts. I left the party shortly after one person asked me if they had gluten. I proudly responded "Yes, and they have butter, sugar and real chocolate, too!" I wonder if anyone tried them.
Here is a photo of a really nasty looking dish to take to a potluck. I picked this one but there are so many sites of photos of disgusting food, it was hard to decide.
Bon appetit!
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