Still on the dole

Yes, it's true.  Santa did not give me a job for Christmas, nor have I found one on my own.  But I am still looking, applying to jobs that would be a perfect fit as well as applying to jobs that I am not really qualified for.  I am becoming very practiced at the art of creative resume fabrication. It's amazing how many ways one can describe mundane office duties and make them seem like advanced brain surgery. Actually, the resume doesn't change too often but the cover letter certainly does.  As I mentioned previously, I now make the cover letter as personal as I want, disclosing some small job years and years ago that might almost relate to the position that is being offered.  It's sort of like saying ".... yes, I have extensive experience with veterinary medicine..."  because I own a dog.  But hey, anything to get someone to read the letter. 

Often job postings ask you to put the job title in the subject line of your email.  I usually comply with their instructions  but sometimes I change it a bit.  Instead of putting "Office Manager" in the subject line I write "Orifice Manager" just to see if they are paying attention.  Or instead of "Administrative Assistant"  I will write "Administrative Ass."  Gives them a little chuckle, which hopefully will encourage them to read my resume.  So far I don't think it is working too well, but I refuse to give up.

One must keep up one's sense of humor in all this. After 15 months of being out of work (not counting the under-the-table jobs, of course) it is easy to get depressed about the future.  Jobs are plentiful, or so it seems if you read craigslist and monster.com.  But so are unemployed people, so there is a lot of competition for good positions.  Also, many of the jobs are part-time, temporary or contract jobs.  A contract job would be acceptable but part-time and temporary, not so much.  Giving up the unemployment check for a part-time job that doesn't net the same amount of money seems foolish. A temporary gig that will mean being out of work again in the foreseeable future is more than foolish, it is idiotic.  Sure, a nice chunk of money for six months sounds fine, but once they let you go you are totally screwed because you haven't worked long enough to accrue any unemployment benefits.

But still, I am optimistic about it all.  I continue to apply to jobs every day and now and then I get a response.  In my heart I know that someone out there is almost desperate enough to post the perfect job for me and the stars will align, the fates will conspire and I will see that job posting immediately, send my newly polished resume and my snappy cover letter, and that job will be mine.  With benefits, with a decent salary and with free parking.  I am counting on it.  And counting the days until that job posting appears.  And counting the dwindling dollars remaining in my bank account.