Weekend

One of the benefits of being out of work is that every day can be a weekend!  Since you don't have a work week, you don't need to save things for the weekend.  But having said that, the weekends here are nice because Gabe and Annie are often home on Saturday mornings and we get to make breakfast together and watch something trashy on TV.  It makes for a fine start of the weekend, whether I need that weekend or not.

I actually had a job interview yesterday!  Who knows what will come of it.  Not giving out too many details but I know the two interviewing guys liked me (how could they not?) but the gray hair might have thrown then.  Especially since the other four people I saw in the interview line were young, strong men.  Oh well, at least it was some action.  There is certainly not a lot of that on the jobless front theses days.

Nothing else.  Went up to Healdsburg for the night this past week, had a great time and a great dinner.  Perhaps wandering down to Carmel Valley this coming week to take advantage of an offer to use someone's cottage in exchange for a little dog-sitting.  Part of my nomadic existence these days.  Tonight I am meeting friends for a cioppino feed, mainly because one of those friends offered to pay for part of my ticket.  I don't usually take advantage of that sort of offer, as most of you might know, but hey, hard times mean saying "yes" now and then instead of always trying to make my own way.

Beautiful day, clear and cold.  More later....... 

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Embracing the Void

Eighteen months ago, when I first became one of the 14 million unemployed, I embraced the freedom from the job. I really didn't worry about getting another job because  I never had a problem getting a job in the past and having some time off sounded fine to me.  For about six months I  took some road trips, cleaned out the closets, read a lot of books, washed the windows.  Then there was six months of work at the bed and breakfast inn, about 20 hours a week most weeks, which supplemented my unemployment check and allowed me to continue to live in West Marin.  All was fine.

Since then things have changed drastically, of course, and my quest for a job has gotten a lot more serious.  I apply and apply and ..... nothing.  In the past two months this nothingness has begun to bug me, as readers of this blog well know.  I have two choices:  continue to be bugged or shrug the bug off.  I have decided to revert back to the feeling I had at the very beginning of my lack of job status.  I am embracing the fact that I have a lot of free time and am not going to be bugged about it anymore.  This attitude may only last a week or two or a month or two, but as long as it lasts, I am taking advantage of it.

Yes, I will still apply for jobs every day.  My unemployment benefits will run out in a week so the need for a job is pretty strong right now.  But I can't do much more than I am already doing about finding another one, so if the opportunity to hit the road comes up, I am taking it.  If someone calls and invites me over, I am going. If someone offers me the use of their vacation cabin, I am saying yes. 

I know there is a job out there for me.  I will continue to search for it and hopefully will find it relatively soon.  But I am tired of worrying about it.  I am tired of the job search consuming my every waking moment and making me Ms. Crankypants.  Screw that, life is too short for whining.  For right now I am tossing the cards in the air and playing the hand that falls in front of me.   Jacks or better and I'm in.



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Make One of Your Own

Scoop Nisker (years ago on KFOG) use to say, "If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own."  I am starting to feel the same way about jobs.  If you don't have one and you aren't getting one, maybe you need to go out and make one of your own.  People create businesses all the time and sometimes they are successful.  Sometimes not so much but at least they didn't just sit around whining about not having one.

So I am trying to make one of my own.  A couple of start-up websites are offering to pay people to write for them and one of them has offered to pay me.  Not much, and not often, but it is a beginning.  If nothing else it will make me be creative a few times a week.  When I get the official by-line, I will let you all know how to find it and you, too, can drive traffic to the site.  The more traffic, the more money I get. 

Meanwhile I am still planning on another road trip in the next couple of weeks, driving back to Texas again. I am getting that antsy feeling and I know it means it's time to hit the road.  I have read about 5 books in the last ten days, and am making a lot of dinners and baking bread and I keep looking at the road atlas.  I clearly have too much time on my hands.  A road trip is definitely in order.

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Stuff

Three and a half months ago, when I moved out of Inverness and into my son's home in Daly City, I got rid of a lot of possessions.  Some I gave away, some I tossed.  The rest I boxed up and moved into the garage here. There aren't as many boxes as you might imagine, mostly books and dishes and some clothes.  But today I decided that no matter how many boxes are there, there needs to be fewer.  I began going through them again with the clear intent of getting rid of even more stuff.

Why?  I don't know.  Part of me thinks "hey, if I haven't needed it in three months, why keep it?"  But that is a bit short-sighted because when I eventually get a job and can move out of here, I will need some of those things.  I will need dishes and pots and pans and I will want some of the books to come with me.  But still...... do I really want to haul all this around?  Can I live without it?

I readily acknowledge that part of this obsession with getting rid of stuff is directly related to my current state of unemployment.  I am not sure how it's related but there is definitely a connection.  Maybe it is because I don't really know who I am supposed to be right now.   The longer you look for employment the less certain you are of finding it.  It's as if your identity gets less and less clear, as if you become shadowy in some way.  It's difficult to explain.  I never was one who thought my job was who I was but now that I have been without one for almost 18 months, my identity seems sort of watery.  Perhaps getting rid of my possessions is a result of that feeling.

I don't know, I am just rambling here.  Suffice it to say that going through boxes of things that once were an immediate part of my life is depressing.  I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if I ever will get another job.  That's depressing as well.  Living here isn't depressing, it's a great place to be and I am happy about that.  But the uncertainty about everything else is awkward and a bit scary.

Sigh.  Enough.  It's time to get the dogs out for a run.

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Science!

One might think that with all this spare time on my hands that I visit the SF museums every week and soak up the culture.  Not true, although this past weekend I did go to the Legion of Honor to see the "Pulp Fashion" exhibit and today I actually, finally went to the Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park.

The "Pulp Fashion" exhibit is quite amazing. It sounds sort of simple, reproductions of historical clothes made out of paper, but it is anything but simple.  The work is extraordinarily detailed and the "fabric" is vibrant and gorgeous.  Totally worth seeing.

But the Academy of Sciences:  what can I say?  When my kids were little we went there often, visiting the fish round-about and tidepools, the African Hall with the huge animal dioramas, the glass cases with snakes and spiders and, of course, the alligators.  There always seemed to be sun in the little courtyard area and it was a great place for kids to run around and play.  Yes, things were sometimes a little old or dusty, but it was still a cool place to visit.

Now, with its total transformation, it is a stunning museum, not just in its look but in the accessibility of the information and the exhibits.  Everything is beautiful, so well organized and well presented.  The Rain Forest compound is full of birds and butterflies, frogs and lizards and the entire four-story room is beautiful with tropical plants and misting water vapor.  It is really amazing.  The museum incorporates subjects that are essential to our immediate world, like climate change, biodiversity, sustainability. As you wander around, wherever you look there is something to read or touch or learn about.  The Planetarium show and the aquarium exhibits and the Living Roof are all perfectly done.

The African Hall is still intact, although the backdrops have been repainted so they look much, much better.  The cafe has great lunch options and there are plenty of places to sit when you feel the need to rest your legs.

Yes, it is expensive, but check this out:  unbeknown to us, the third Wednesday of the month is free!  Yes, there was a long line at opening time but it moved through the entrance quickly and the place never felt crowded until after noon. So, if you haven't yet visited, do it.  Go early.  You will not be disappointed.

Weather Forecast:  still nothing on the horizon.

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Call Backs

A short post this morning.  From the slew of resumes I sent out last week I have received two calls.  Both callers were trying to screen applicants, attempting to set up interviews.  Both were quite vague about the job (hours, pay, benefits) because, as they insisted, that wasn't their department.  However, in both cases, after chatting with them for less than five minutes, it was clear that the jobs paid less than $12.00 an hour.  Also, in both cases, after that short conversation, both callers said almost the identical thing:  "Yes, it sounds from your voice and the questions you ask that you are probably overqualified for this job.  We will keep your resume in case anything opens up that might be a better match for you."

Ah well, one must be hopeful and consider this a good sign.  At least my resume is getting read by someone.

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Happy Love Day: A Big Red Heart On

If you read the above title out loud, quickly, it is a little risque, but hey, that's the point of the Day of Love, n'est pas? 

Several of my blog aficionados have emailed me this week to say that I need to write more often and I am going to make that my Valentine's Resolution.  Several have also said that I sound sad, cranky, scattered, focused, unfocused, witty, dry, boring and just plain strange.  I cop to all of the above.  No excuses, no reasons, just me.

For many years I spent San Valentino Day in Europe, where they do, indeed, celebrate the Day of Love just like in the USA.  Flowers, candy, hearts, wine, expensive dinners, lingerie, cards, romance, all are marketed throughout the Western world.  Having little or no knowledge about Eastern civilized lands (i.e. China, Japan, Southeast Asia, etc) I don't know if they ascribe to the same thought process, but if not today, perhaps they have some other day to spend foolishly and furiously.  But it was lovely to be in a country like France or Italy and see the storefronts pandering to those in love.  Since I was there with someone whom I loved, but not in "that" way, it was easy to be single on San Valentino Day.  We usually just grabbed some good wine, some good take-out pizza (in Italy) or bread and cheese (in France) and left the romantic dining crowd alone.  Since Feb. 14 is a terrible day to eat out (overpriced, too "special" and too crowded), retiring to a hotel room or small apartment and indulging in good snacks was the agenda for that evening.  I miss that.  I miss pointing out to Tom which gorgeous, expensive flowers he should buy me and I miss him doing the same with the incredibly decadent chocolates, hand crafted and hand decorated.  Neither of which we would receive, of course, but it was fun to pretend.

Today my big outing was to Safeway, buying a couple of things that are not stocked at the neighborhood Trader Joe's and the store was full of men buying really tacky, overpriced flowers and balloons and cheap chocolate.  Really, guys, come on, you couldn't have thought of this before your lunch hour?  You couldn't have snuck out of the house a day or two or three ago and gone to See's Candies at least?  But I suppose a rose by any other name is still a rose, even if it dies tomorrow.  (Oh, there's my cynical side!)

And I must admit, once when I was married I got roses delivered to my desk on V.D. (hmm, suspicious initials) and I loved it.  But then, what woman doesn't love getting flowers?  Doesn't matter if they are delivered by some anonymous florist or hand delivered by your sweetie upon arrival home from work, flowers will always be on the positive side of the Love Ledger.  Candy, fine.  Overpriced dinner, fine. But flowers, yes, always.  And there's a hint to all of you studly men and cuddly women:  bring home flowers, not just on February 14 but on some random day in March or May or any other month.  Surprise someone. It's easy and it counts a lot.

Today's weather forecast:  dull, insipid clouds, not a good storm in sight.  Some thunder and lightning would be lovely but I fear I am in for sad, relentless drizzle for a while.

over and out for tonight.


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Bless me Father, where's my iPhone?

One does not normally think "Catholic Church" and "iPhone app" at the same time but that's about to change. How modern and cool is this: an app you can get on your iPhone that helps fallen-away Catholics (as we called them years ago, but there was never any indication where they had fallen to) get back into the real meat of their religion by helping them get prepped to go to confession.  You log in, tell the app if you are male, female or undecided, tell them your age (don't lie, or you will have to confess that) and a list of questions comes up to help you make up a cheat sheet for the next go-round with the kindly priest behind the scary curtain.

No lie.  (I would have to confess that.)  An app to help you figure out what sins you committed since you last went to confession.  One would think that a sinner might not need that kind of help, but think about it for a moment.  It's been 35 years since your last confession and you were about 18 at the time. That makes you in your fifties.  You suddenly begin to doubt your mortality and those lessons learned from the Catechism are haunting you, as are those pesky Ten Commandments, all of which you have broken like a cheap china plate with the exception of killing someone.  And you actually did commit that crime in your heart, and we all know that counts almost as much as doing it with a knife.

Now you want to purge yourself of these terrible sins and lo and behold!  Confession does that!  Confession lets you tell your most dirty little (and big) secrets to that man behind the curtain and say a couple of Hail Mary's (or is it Hale Mary?) and all those sins are gone, your soul becomes, in that instant, as pure as a baby's butt.  Hmm, perhaps bad analogy, how about as pure as a bucket of freshly tapped maple syrup.  You are now longing for that purity but alas, the last 35 years have taken their toll in memory and honesty.  Did you really have sex with your first boss or did you make that up?  Does kissing a stranger and touching his dick at a Christmas party while your husband is working late at the gas station count as a sin?  You are confused.

This is where the app is essential!  With its guidelines, you too can go to confession with a comprehensive list of sins or quasi-sins to tell that Large Man behind the curtain, and even if you never did them, even if you think you might have dreamed them, once you leave that little booth your soul is immediately, miraculously as pure as the nose on a small pink bunny.

This is astounding news to me.  All these years, as a happily sinning Catholic (I wasn't a fallen-away one, I never fell, I just sinned my way out of the religion) but still a little fearful of the Great and Powerful Avenging God (not to mention the Great and Powerful small man behind the curtain) I was misled.  Now I get it:  get an iPhone, get the app, get the list and go confess.  How easy it will be for so many peeps who want to come back into the fold. Salvation is just a couple of touch screens away.  

Too bad I don't have an iPhone. Too bad I don't believe in the power of the Great and Terrible Oz behind the curtain.  But hey, maybe the confession app has an adjunct app that lets you promise money to that Oz person (or God, if you will) if he or she answers your prayers (or tweets.)  Should I text Oz-God about my job status and promise some money or a burnt chicken sacrifice if a job appears?  Hey, if technology can get you back on the heaven track, it surely must be able to get you back into the ranks of the employed.

Sigh.  If only. Dream on, even Oz can't give me what I need, it seems.  And god, well, I guess I will just have to wait for an app that appeals to St. Jude or St. Anthony. Lost cause, lost job. Now those are the guys to create an app for.

Weather forecast: No sun in sight. Dark and stormy skies with nothing even remotely approaching a paycheck.
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Weather predictions on the job front

Before I get to the weather, I must update you on my lack of job status. I received a very nice letter today from the Burlingame School District office telling me that I was a total loser and should be happy that I am still collecting unemployment because I have no talent and will never get another job, not even flipping burgers.

Hmm, well, no, that's not what they said. That's what I read into it.  They thanked me profusely and shyly confessed that they hired one of the other participants in the cattle call.  No, not cattle call, what I meant was interview process. 

Now we come to the title of this post.  It was suggested by Gabe and Annie that instead of rehashing the job thing every other post, I create a metaphor to relay the current state of joblessness.  So I hereby am creating the Weather Forecast on Julie's Jobs.  In each post there will be a note that reads something like:  Current Weather Conditions or Weather Predictions or something like that.  If it says "sunny, bright, clear skies" you will know things are looking up.  If it states "dark, stormy, tornado watch"  you will know things are looking pretty crappy.  Anything in between, like "mild, some clouds, chance of showers" could mean anything in the middle, like I might have a job interview or I am waiting to hear back from the 67 jobs I just applied to or some such scenario.

It's not that I am tired of talking about jobs, it's just that I am tired of talking about not having one.  The weather report will let you know what's up without reading all the nasty details and it means I don't have to dredge up all those nasty details.  But don't worry, if there is anything really important that I need to share, I will just blurt it out, weather report be damned.

On to other things, like my latest quest to get a free subscription to every magazine published in the USA.  Actually, I don't want a free subscription, I just want one copy of each magazine, then I will write CANCEL on the bill and the subscription will cease. I will be left with at least one edition of the magazine, something to read in my leisure time (of which I have plenty) and at no cost to me! 

Finally, (and I hear you all breathing a sigh of relief at that) I must share (I hate that word) with you all something I read in the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport. I was buying a bottle of water at the Dunkin Doughnut concession and they had on proud display a coffee mug they were selling. Next to the mug was a printed sign that read "Limited Addition."  Now, I truly believe Texas has a problem with limited addition, but I wasn't aware it extended to coffee mugs.  Had it been a limited edition of said mug, perhaps I would have purchased one, but I was afraid of the limited addition (bad math and all that) so I didn't.

Weather Forecast for the Weekend:  Moderate temperatures, no wind and really boring clouds.

Have a good weekend.


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Too bad I am not a believer

If I was, I would pray or offer a sacrifice or get down on my knees or do whatever was necessary to get a leg up on the gods.  The interview on Monday was fine, the job is quite different than I thought it would be, but that's OK.

But, the reason for the god stuff, is I applied for a really perfect job for me, I can't even tell you about it for fear of jinxing it so that's all.  If any of you out there have any connection with the guiding forces of life, perhaps you can convince them to guide the force my way.

Otherwise, all is fine. I am spending a couple of days out here in Inverness, in a cottage on Tomales bay, enjoying the effects of global warming.  Who knew we Californians would be doing that right now?  Basking in the sun while my daughter in Texas is experiencing a half inch of ice covering everything in sight.  We love these days but it is sort of creepy and wrong.  It's February First, boys and girls, we should be complaining about the endless rain and cold, not complaining that we can't find our short sleeve shirts because the temp is pushing 70 degrees.

Yes, regarding that Kyoto summit, hmmm, it would have been smart to attend, Mr. Bush.

Over and out for now.  Again, thanks for the good thoughts and keep them up.  I want this job.   But I will, of course, be fine without it.

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