OK, so I have seen ads for $1000 for renting a camper, a 5th wheel, a tiny house, a 200 sq ft studio. All of it. But this, this is the best! http://sfbay.craigslist.org/nby/apa/5092858466.html
$900 a month to rent a tent! A tent! You could buy a large tent and stay in a campground. But I guess at $30 a day for a camping site it works out to be the same. And look! This one has a hot plate and a toaster oven in another little covered area which they do not show because it is probably covered with mouse poop and ants. And you only have to share the bathroom with one other person (so they say) instead of a campground full of people. So really, it's a much better deal than a campground because it's supposedly quiet and peaceful and looks out at trees. Wow!
Looking out at trees is worth at least $10 a day, so when you think about it, $900 is a really cheap deal!
I was/am trying to rent two large bedrooms and a private half bath, a real kitchen with no poop (and no meth!) and a living room and a backyard for $1000. Utilities mostly included. What is wrong with this picture?
The sad thing is they will probably get someone to rent that tent and I will get no one to share my house. Sad, sort of. Just sad for the idiot who pays it. But that idiot wouldn't be welcome at my house anyway, so not sad for me.
Amazing! As my friend Tom said tonight, "the older I get the more I realize what I don't know." Right behind that I would add "the older I get the more I realize that laughing out loud is sometimes the only answer."
LOL right now. Rent-a-tent! Now!
.
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Do I have bad roommate karma or what?
I meet with this young woman, her mom, her aunt, they are all pleasant and excited about the house. They seem fine. We have a date scheduled to meet yesterday, Tuesday, at 3:00 pm. I give the application papers to my landlords at 8:30 in the morning. 90 minutes later I get a call: "Julie, I hate to say this but we cannot rent to this person."
Me: "What? Why not?"
Them: "Legally, we can't tell you. But we found some stuff, following the credit check for a while, that makes us very uncomfortable about this and we have to follow our gut. So no, it's not going to happen."
Me: "OK, I trust you guys and you have to do what protects you."
So, now I am back to square one. I have until July 10 to find someone to share the house or I have to move. The good thing is that two bedrooms are completely empty. The bad thing is that I have too much stuff to move into a studio, which is probably all I can afford at more than half of what I make each month. Studios are now around $1200-$1350 a month. I make around $2000 a month.
Ah, well, I am being positive and hopeful and hey, I now have 16 days to fine another roommate. All I want is someone normal-ish to pay the rent, be nice, be quiet and have no drama. It's a small thing to ask but a huge thing to find.
Me: "What? Why not?"
Them: "Legally, we can't tell you. But we found some stuff, following the credit check for a while, that makes us very uncomfortable about this and we have to follow our gut. So no, it's not going to happen."
Me: "OK, I trust you guys and you have to do what protects you."
So, now I am back to square one. I have until July 10 to find someone to share the house or I have to move. The good thing is that two bedrooms are completely empty. The bad thing is that I have too much stuff to move into a studio, which is probably all I can afford at more than half of what I make each month. Studios are now around $1200-$1350 a month. I make around $2000 a month.
Ah, well, I am being positive and hopeful and hey, I now have 16 days to fine another roommate. All I want is someone normal-ish to pay the rent, be nice, be quiet and have no drama. It's a small thing to ask but a huge thing to find.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Final details of the last chapter of the roommate saga
On Sunday, I received eight text messages in a row from the reclusive Josh, the meth-head dick who was my pseudo roommate for three weeks. Crux of the messages was that he was coming to get his stuff. His stuff that was clogging up my garage and still smelled like chemicals and boy sweat. His stuff that made me pissed off every time I went into the garage.
An hour after the eight text messages (to which my curt reply was "Fine") he arrived with a friend and a truck and in two loads, all of the stuff (i.e. crap) was gone. All of it. Josh tried to give me some story about some event or some excuse about his behavior but I simply held up my hand and said "honestly, I don't care. What happened, happened, just finish loading the truck, please." So he did.
While I will continue to lock my house up with a vigilance I never had before, I do feel it's the end of that chapter. Actually, I hope it's the end of that entire book.
.
An hour after the eight text messages (to which my curt reply was "Fine") he arrived with a friend and a truck and in two loads, all of the stuff (i.e. crap) was gone. All of it. Josh tried to give me some story about some event or some excuse about his behavior but I simply held up my hand and said "honestly, I don't care. What happened, happened, just finish loading the truck, please." So he did.
While I will continue to lock my house up with a vigilance I never had before, I do feel it's the end of that chapter. Actually, I hope it's the end of that entire book.
.
Mysterious Sheet Case Solved
It's a testament to friends: my friend Jani read the blog about the crazy price of sheets and she kindly and generously sent me sheets, just the kind I like, crisp and a little terse. These are the kind of sheets that you sort of want to iron, at least the pillowcases. (I stopped myself before doing that, however.)
So this is a public service message: sometimes you get what you don't even actually ask for! In the words of Mick Jagger, you can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need!
Thank you, Jani.
So this is a public service message: sometimes you get what you don't even actually ask for! In the words of Mick Jagger, you can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need!
Thank you, Jani.
Friday, June 19, 2015
The Case of the Mysterious Bed Sheets
One of you out there must have some inside knowledge of this mysterious situation. I feel like Hercule Poirot should be involved but it is probably much simpler than what it seems.
An unexpected package arrived on my doorstep this morning, in a familiar Amazon box. (Right there, that sentence, could be the start of a great mystery! Or not.) Did I order something from them that I neglected to remember? As far as my feeble mind knows, the last thing I procured was dog food. Hmmm..... I gingerly picked up the box and carefully brought it into my kitchen. (If it was going to explode, I would have been toast on the porch, so the careful part was gratuitous, I suppose.)
I grabbed a knife. I opened the package. And Zut Alors! Inside was a set of white cotton sheets! And they were the correct size for my small non-queen bed!
Now I was puzzled. I did spend some time last week looking at sheets online, visiting a couple of sites that had cheap sheets for sale, but I had no memory of actually ordering any cheap sheets (or non cheap sheets either) and thus I was a bit stymied. I searched the Amazon box for a print-out of the purchase but there was nothing! Even more confusing because Amazon always includes too much annoying paperwork.
But I needed sheets, there was no question about that. I had been using the same set of sheets for the last three years, over and over, and about three weeks ago one of those sheets just gave up the ghost, just fell apart, disintegrated in front of me. However, in my quest to Not Buy Anything New, I refrained from getting new sheets, resorting to using a king sized sheet that was previously used as a dog sheet for our couch and it was fine as the tucked in bottom sheet on my bed. I washed it, of course, in case you were wondering.
But as I said, I needed sheets. I ruminated about this for a while and then figured it was a gift from the gods or from a friend or was a mistake or honestly, who cared. I washed the new sheets, they are now on my bed, and tonight I will sleep on them, new sheets!!!
It has been a long, long time since I have had new sheets. The ones I have been sleeping on for the last three years were from my friend Martha, who was killed three years ago this month. When we cleared out her apartment, I took the sheets. But before that, I cannot remember when I last bought sheets, so these, these stranger sheets, these sheets of unknown origin, are very welcomed.
Whoever you are, thank you. I will buy you dinner next week if you own up to it. I will buy you dinner next week even if you don't own up to it. If I can figure out who you are, that is.....
ah, new sheets. how nice.
xo.
An unexpected package arrived on my doorstep this morning, in a familiar Amazon box. (Right there, that sentence, could be the start of a great mystery! Or not.) Did I order something from them that I neglected to remember? As far as my feeble mind knows, the last thing I procured was dog food. Hmmm..... I gingerly picked up the box and carefully brought it into my kitchen. (If it was going to explode, I would have been toast on the porch, so the careful part was gratuitous, I suppose.)
I grabbed a knife. I opened the package. And Zut Alors! Inside was a set of white cotton sheets! And they were the correct size for my small non-queen bed!
Now I was puzzled. I did spend some time last week looking at sheets online, visiting a couple of sites that had cheap sheets for sale, but I had no memory of actually ordering any cheap sheets (or non cheap sheets either) and thus I was a bit stymied. I searched the Amazon box for a print-out of the purchase but there was nothing! Even more confusing because Amazon always includes too much annoying paperwork.
But I needed sheets, there was no question about that. I had been using the same set of sheets for the last three years, over and over, and about three weeks ago one of those sheets just gave up the ghost, just fell apart, disintegrated in front of me. However, in my quest to Not Buy Anything New, I refrained from getting new sheets, resorting to using a king sized sheet that was previously used as a dog sheet for our couch and it was fine as the tucked in bottom sheet on my bed. I washed it, of course, in case you were wondering.
But as I said, I needed sheets. I ruminated about this for a while and then figured it was a gift from the gods or from a friend or was a mistake or honestly, who cared. I washed the new sheets, they are now on my bed, and tonight I will sleep on them, new sheets!!!
It has been a long, long time since I have had new sheets. The ones I have been sleeping on for the last three years were from my friend Martha, who was killed three years ago this month. When we cleared out her apartment, I took the sheets. But before that, I cannot remember when I last bought sheets, so these, these stranger sheets, these sheets of unknown origin, are very welcomed.
Whoever you are, thank you. I will buy you dinner next week if you own up to it. I will buy you dinner next week even if you don't own up to it. If I can figure out who you are, that is.....
ah, new sheets. how nice.
xo.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
And yet another roommate story, but of a different sort
When last we visited the roommate saga, it was of a dark and nasty nature. That particular saga hasn't changed much, his crappy possessions are still in a huge pile in the garage and I am still fumigating his room. He has not returned, and like Charlie on the MTA, I hope he never returns. His stuff will be tossed sometime soon, hopefully.
But the good news is this: I have a new roommate, a young student at SRJC. Her mom is a nurse in Santa Rosa, she (the roommate) is studying at SRJC to also be a nurse, they seem solid and honest and solvent. Wishing for the best, of course, and trying to be positive about all of it (i.e. trying to not create the bad scenario in my head) and it feels like the right match. She's quiet. I'm quiet. She studies a lot and has a few friends but isn't a party girl. I read a lot, never study and have a few friends who do like to party a bit if good wine or whiskey is involved. That's as far as it goes. I have no intentions of raising another kid, and I flat out told her mom that. The mom was fine with that.
Hey, it's a real person who can pay rent. I don't think the roommate is a meth cooker and the mom for sure isn't. (Although she does live in Lake County, so I could, once again, be very wrong.) But I am giving it a shot.
I don't know. I honestly don't, but I need someone to pay rent and I don't want to move and I liked these people. That's as good as it gets right now, and that's good enough for the moment. Or for the next six or eight or twelve months.
.
But the good news is this: I have a new roommate, a young student at SRJC. Her mom is a nurse in Santa Rosa, she (the roommate) is studying at SRJC to also be a nurse, they seem solid and honest and solvent. Wishing for the best, of course, and trying to be positive about all of it (i.e. trying to not create the bad scenario in my head) and it feels like the right match. She's quiet. I'm quiet. She studies a lot and has a few friends but isn't a party girl. I read a lot, never study and have a few friends who do like to party a bit if good wine or whiskey is involved. That's as far as it goes. I have no intentions of raising another kid, and I flat out told her mom that. The mom was fine with that.
Hey, it's a real person who can pay rent. I don't think the roommate is a meth cooker and the mom for sure isn't. (Although she does live in Lake County, so I could, once again, be very wrong.) But I am giving it a shot.
I don't know. I honestly don't, but I need someone to pay rent and I don't want to move and I liked these people. That's as good as it gets right now, and that's good enough for the moment. Or for the next six or eight or twelve months.
.
Friday, June 12, 2015
The day off: Chores. Good ones. Nice.
In 1998 I wrote an article for Salon Magazine, at that time one of the few on-line magazines. (We called them zines for a while. Is that still a thing? I have no idea.) It was called "Why I Hate B&Bs." That they published it was such a wondrous thing to me! My first written thing in print! And they sent me a check for $250.00.
Click ahead 17 years. A few weeks ago I opened an old wooden box that I use as a sort of coffee table in front of my couch. Why I haven't opened it in the last ten years is not something we need to discuss. There were many sheets of sandpaper (?) and several manila folders. Those folders had a few years of income tax forms, the ones I had filed while married to George. They were, by now, more than 17 years old, so I decided to chuck them. I tore my social security number off of all of them, left his intact, and while I was going through them all I found an envelope, opened, from Salon Magazine. I took out the document and lo and behold! It was the $250 check from Salon Magazine from 1998! What? I was shocked! And puzzled. How did this check get here? I certainly remembered getting paid for the article so how was it that I had never cashed the check? Me, the money grubbing person that I am, was befuddled. Then I looked at the date. The fall of 1998 was a dark time. My father died in August. I sold the Big White House and had to move out of that house in October. My daughter's marriage was disintegrating. Everything in my life was in an enormous state of flux. I am sure I put the Salon check aside, thinking I would cash it later. Much, much later, as it turned out.
Needless to say, I emailed Salon, explained the situation, they stalled for a day or two while they checked the company policy and finally agreed that they could and would re-issue the check. Thus, today, 17 years later, I cashed that check. What a nice ending.
That was the first "chore" of the day. Others followed: buy some summer shirts, get dog treats, look for sheets, which was a shock. I haven't bought sheets in...... maybe 25 years. The ones I have now are literally falling apart and all I wanted were cotton sheets. Do you know how difficult it is to find 100% cotton sheets for a standard full size mattress (not even a queen) for under $50? I didn't find any. I was shocked. Cotton and polyester blend seems the go-to blend now, which doesn't work for me. I don't want microfiber. I want cotton at a reasonable price. I will sleep with my holey sheets for a while and my quest will continue.
Then to the dentist, all good and happy there. Then I stopped at a very small, very unpretentious winery on River Road, Fogline, and met the peeps there, tasted some wine (all in the cause of getting them to come to the hotel and pour for our guests.) The wine was delicious and the people were great fun.
I also pulled weeds, cleaned house, did laundry (saving the rinse water to water the rose bushes and hydrangeas), paid bills and walked the dog a couple of times.
All in all, a good day off. I just need more of them. Many, many more ..... and I think this entire post sounds like a Facebook thing, for which I am a bit chagrined. But since I have typed this far, I will let it go.
.
Click ahead 17 years. A few weeks ago I opened an old wooden box that I use as a sort of coffee table in front of my couch. Why I haven't opened it in the last ten years is not something we need to discuss. There were many sheets of sandpaper (?) and several manila folders. Those folders had a few years of income tax forms, the ones I had filed while married to George. They were, by now, more than 17 years old, so I decided to chuck them. I tore my social security number off of all of them, left his intact, and while I was going through them all I found an envelope, opened, from Salon Magazine. I took out the document and lo and behold! It was the $250 check from Salon Magazine from 1998! What? I was shocked! And puzzled. How did this check get here? I certainly remembered getting paid for the article so how was it that I had never cashed the check? Me, the money grubbing person that I am, was befuddled. Then I looked at the date. The fall of 1998 was a dark time. My father died in August. I sold the Big White House and had to move out of that house in October. My daughter's marriage was disintegrating. Everything in my life was in an enormous state of flux. I am sure I put the Salon check aside, thinking I would cash it later. Much, much later, as it turned out.
Needless to say, I emailed Salon, explained the situation, they stalled for a day or two while they checked the company policy and finally agreed that they could and would re-issue the check. Thus, today, 17 years later, I cashed that check. What a nice ending.
That was the first "chore" of the day. Others followed: buy some summer shirts, get dog treats, look for sheets, which was a shock. I haven't bought sheets in...... maybe 25 years. The ones I have now are literally falling apart and all I wanted were cotton sheets. Do you know how difficult it is to find 100% cotton sheets for a standard full size mattress (not even a queen) for under $50? I didn't find any. I was shocked. Cotton and polyester blend seems the go-to blend now, which doesn't work for me. I don't want microfiber. I want cotton at a reasonable price. I will sleep with my holey sheets for a while and my quest will continue.
Then to the dentist, all good and happy there. Then I stopped at a very small, very unpretentious winery on River Road, Fogline, and met the peeps there, tasted some wine (all in the cause of getting them to come to the hotel and pour for our guests.) The wine was delicious and the people were great fun.
I also pulled weeds, cleaned house, did laundry (saving the rinse water to water the rose bushes and hydrangeas), paid bills and walked the dog a couple of times.
All in all, a good day off. I just need more of them. Many, many more ..... and I think this entire post sounds like a Facebook thing, for which I am a bit chagrined. But since I have typed this far, I will let it go.
.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Heard it's your birthday..... my birthday too......
The last post I wrote mentioned a book that I had mentioned several postings before; sorry for the redundancy. Guess I just liked the book......
This morning I woke up to the sound of very light rain on the tin storage shed next to my bedroom window. One forgets how pleasant that sound is, not having heard it much in the past three years. It delayed my getting out of bed for at least 15 minutes, but I didn't care. It's my birthday, I can do what I want, even be ten minutes late for work. No one cares except the time clock. Walked Cooper in the small rain, even Cooper didn't mind getting wet, especially because it was also very warm. Sort of Louisianna-ish.
People at work were nice to me, wished me birthday happiness, gave me flowers, an orchid, a cake, some nice beer and a bottle of 12 year old Macallum single malt scotch. What a great gift that is!
Went to Jenn and Dar's flat in Guerneville where Dar poured some William Selyem Pinot Noir and we got to chat for a while until Jenn came home. Dar grilled steak and peppers and roasted potatoes and made salad and Jenn made an angel food cake and I got flowers and cards and so much love. Being surrounded by drifts of love, how nice is that.
Off to bed now. To work tomorrow. More to follow.
xo
.
This morning I woke up to the sound of very light rain on the tin storage shed next to my bedroom window. One forgets how pleasant that sound is, not having heard it much in the past three years. It delayed my getting out of bed for at least 15 minutes, but I didn't care. It's my birthday, I can do what I want, even be ten minutes late for work. No one cares except the time clock. Walked Cooper in the small rain, even Cooper didn't mind getting wet, especially because it was also very warm. Sort of Louisianna-ish.
People at work were nice to me, wished me birthday happiness, gave me flowers, an orchid, a cake, some nice beer and a bottle of 12 year old Macallum single malt scotch. What a great gift that is!
Went to Jenn and Dar's flat in Guerneville where Dar poured some William Selyem Pinot Noir and we got to chat for a while until Jenn came home. Dar grilled steak and peppers and roasted potatoes and made salad and Jenn made an angel food cake and I got flowers and cards and so much love. Being surrounded by drifts of love, how nice is that.
Off to bed now. To work tomorrow. More to follow.
xo
.
Monday, June 8, 2015
Some random things
To get the roommate crap out of the way: haven't heard from the guy for more than two weeks. Took all of his stuff that he had in the house and made a huge pile of it in the garage. Now looking for another roommate but the only people who come by to see the place are young men, in their 20's, and I am not going down that road again.
Books: I just read "The Girl on the Train" which is on all the best seller lists. It's fine, better than "Gone Girl." The ending is a bit overblown but by then, who cares. But it's a book that, once finished, is gone from your mind. Honestly, I had to re-read the last three pages this morning just to remember what happened. Guess I just didn't care that much.
But this book stuck with me: "The Given World" by Marian Palaia. The protagonist, Riley, is a tough, troubled, smart and strong woman with lots of demons and lots of anger. She also has a huge heart that is pretty much broken, thus the anger and the toughness. (Who doesn't try to hide a broken heart, no matter how it got broken?) Most of it takes place in SF, some in the Bernal Heights area, an area I know fairly well because Jenn lived there for a while. Some takes place in Saigon. Some is on the road. This is a book worth reading. Every word seems important, every scene is set so clearly and the character of Riley will stick with you with her tenacity and her guts.
James Lee Burke, "Crusader's Cross." I have mentioned Burke before on this blog. If you haven't read him, just go to the library and get one of his Dave Robicheaux novels. Yes, they are about a private detective getting involved in crimes, which sounds so mundane. The writing, however, will blow you away. His descriptions of the land, of the cities, of characters, of feelings, of loss, love, and everything are lyrical and yet gut wrenching as well.
On Sunday I picked up 5 books from the library that I had requested. I don't like to get 5 at a time but there was no other option, if I didn't take them they would go back into circulation. I am hoping for a winner among them and will keep you posted.
On other topics: Gabe and Annie celebrated their tenth wedding anniversary last week and stayed here at the Olea Hotel for three nights at a nicely discounted rate. On Saturday Steve and I and Gabe and Annie had dinner at Spinster Sisters in Santa Rosa. We were there for about two and a half hours, shared almost all the small plates on the menu as well as 4 different kinds of wine. Needless to say, it was a great dinner and a great evening. There's nothing like having some fine family around to take your mind off the crappy side of life.
That's all for now. More to follow……
.
Books: I just read "The Girl on the Train" which is on all the best seller lists. It's fine, better than "Gone Girl." The ending is a bit overblown but by then, who cares. But it's a book that, once finished, is gone from your mind. Honestly, I had to re-read the last three pages this morning just to remember what happened. Guess I just didn't care that much.
But this book stuck with me: "The Given World" by Marian Palaia. The protagonist, Riley, is a tough, troubled, smart and strong woman with lots of demons and lots of anger. She also has a huge heart that is pretty much broken, thus the anger and the toughness. (Who doesn't try to hide a broken heart, no matter how it got broken?) Most of it takes place in SF, some in the Bernal Heights area, an area I know fairly well because Jenn lived there for a while. Some takes place in Saigon. Some is on the road. This is a book worth reading. Every word seems important, every scene is set so clearly and the character of Riley will stick with you with her tenacity and her guts.
James Lee Burke, "Crusader's Cross." I have mentioned Burke before on this blog. If you haven't read him, just go to the library and get one of his Dave Robicheaux novels. Yes, they are about a private detective getting involved in crimes, which sounds so mundane. The writing, however, will blow you away. His descriptions of the land, of the cities, of characters, of feelings, of loss, love, and everything are lyrical and yet gut wrenching as well.
On Sunday I picked up 5 books from the library that I had requested. I don't like to get 5 at a time but there was no other option, if I didn't take them they would go back into circulation. I am hoping for a winner among them and will keep you posted.
On other topics: Gabe and Annie celebrated their tenth wedding anniversary last week and stayed here at the Olea Hotel for three nights at a nicely discounted rate. On Saturday Steve and I and Gabe and Annie had dinner at Spinster Sisters in Santa Rosa. We were there for about two and a half hours, shared almost all the small plates on the menu as well as 4 different kinds of wine. Needless to say, it was a great dinner and a great evening. There's nothing like having some fine family around to take your mind off the crappy side of life.
That's all for now. More to follow……
.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Something else
Unless there is late-breaking news, my next post will deal with something other than this roommate crap. I won't bore you with the other disastrous angle of all this, which is the really, really bad rental market. There is NOTHING out there worth renting for less than what I make every month. Try to find something under $1200 that will take a dog, forgetaboutit.
But the next post will be positive. Even if I resort to fiction, it will be positive and good and funny and smart. I promise that to myself. I promise that to you. While l can't promise not to talk about the awful roommate crap again, I can promise it will be put on the back burner (one that isn't cooking meth) for at least a day. Or two or three.
Heavy sigh. Thanks for reading.
.
But the next post will be positive. Even if I resort to fiction, it will be positive and good and funny and smart. I promise that to myself. I promise that to you. While l can't promise not to talk about the awful roommate crap again, I can promise it will be put on the back burner (one that isn't cooking meth) for at least a day. Or two or three.
Heavy sigh. Thanks for reading.
.
Roommate disaster, Part 6 or whatever and how tiring is this entire thing
Oh, nothing has changed. The stupid asshole renter has not shown his face. Tomorrow I will contact the Monterey County Sheriff Department and see if they have arrested him or found him dead somewhere, since the last thing he said to me was he was driving his wreck of a car to Monterey. He has seemingly vanished from regular radar. I cannot find anything online about him.
This entire situation has made me doubt myself, my intuition, my mind, my emotions, everything. I am in denial, of course. My solution is to simply read a book and not address the issue of my impending homelessness. (I have read three books in the last 5 days. One has to love that kind of denial.) It turns out I am responsible for all of the rent for June, a huge amount that I cannot afford, but the law is the law, so no arguing with that fact.
Move or stay. Stay or go. Go where? Stay how? In my 65 years I have encountered lots of stuff, raised kids, had a couple of divorces, gotten laid off, fired, had to sell my home, on and on, but I have no resources within myself to deal with this. Time is of the essence here because my landlord has a healthy deposit of mine and I can't afford to lose that. I can't just move out, I need a plan. And I am having a difficult time coming up with that plan. I simply do not know what to do.
Yes, in some fashion, it will all come together and be fine. At this moment, however, I do not know what that fashion entails. And things seem far from fine.
But hey, at least I don't have head lice this week. And I have a roof over my head. Albeit I pay for that roof, but it's there. And when I flush the toilet, poop goes away! Small graces, I guess.
.
This entire situation has made me doubt myself, my intuition, my mind, my emotions, everything. I am in denial, of course. My solution is to simply read a book and not address the issue of my impending homelessness. (I have read three books in the last 5 days. One has to love that kind of denial.) It turns out I am responsible for all of the rent for June, a huge amount that I cannot afford, but the law is the law, so no arguing with that fact.
Move or stay. Stay or go. Go where? Stay how? In my 65 years I have encountered lots of stuff, raised kids, had a couple of divorces, gotten laid off, fired, had to sell my home, on and on, but I have no resources within myself to deal with this. Time is of the essence here because my landlord has a healthy deposit of mine and I can't afford to lose that. I can't just move out, I need a plan. And I am having a difficult time coming up with that plan. I simply do not know what to do.
Yes, in some fashion, it will all come together and be fine. At this moment, however, I do not know what that fashion entails. And things seem far from fine.
But hey, at least I don't have head lice this week. And I have a roof over my head. Albeit I pay for that roof, but it's there. And when I flush the toilet, poop goes away! Small graces, I guess.
.
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